I’m just going to report this next story without comment, because I really don’t know what I can say and still keep this sorta PG-13 rated:
A woman named Carolee Bildsten of Illinois was arrested recently, on aggravated assault charges. What did Ms. Bildsten do?
Well, she tried to assault a police officer with a sex toy. Specifically, and this is why you have to love police reports, it was a “clear, rigid feminine pleasure device.”
Even more specifically (because I know you want more specifics here), it was “six inches long and attached to a nylon harness.”
All the requisite jokes you and I are both thinking right now (a “stiff” sentence for her, perhaps) have already been made by The Smoking Gun’s readers.
And most disappointingly, there is no photo of the offending “weapon” at the link. Sigh.
**Very excited about two sporting events today. There is, of course, my weekly three hours of angst and screaming with the New York Jets at 1 p.m.. My boys play at Cleveland today, and suddenly the Browns look like they don’t suck. Our old friend Eric Mangini, last seen in New York leading the Jets’ collapse in 2008, has the Browns playing better. I am officially worried about this game.
Then at 5, my beloved Duke Blue Devils tip off their national championship defense against Princeton. Insanely excited to see freshman phenom Kyrie Irving for Duke, and the rest of the new guys. Love, love love college basketball, especially this time of year when everything is new.