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I don’t know about you, but I love a bank robber who gets annoyed at poor customer service.
In late April, Harold Luken tried to rob a Bank of America in Queens, N.Y. He waited on line, quite courteously, and then tried to tell the teller to give him all the bank’s money.
When the teller had the temerity to say, um, “no,” Mr. Luken allegedly said “Fine, I’ll go rob Citibank instead.”
Sadly, Luken was arrested before we could see how many more banks would say no to him.
**All I’m going to do is tell you the headline here. It’s totally up to you if you want to click through and read the story. But, I mean, come on …
**Yep, they sign ‘em younger and younger these days. Apparently a Dutch pro soccer team called VVV-Venlo saw video of an 18-month old kicking a soccer ball and offered him a 10-year contract.
It’s a publicity stunt, we hope. But the kid, Baerke van der Meij, is pretty darn good. Check him out above.
I’m just wondering when the first fetus will get signed. I could see the owner of the pro team that signs the fetus at a press conference: “Well, we’ve seen the sonogram, and it looks terrific. We haven’t seen a sonogram like that in a long time.
“And look, his parents are both great athletes, so we’re confident in 18-20 years this fetus will be a hell of an asset to our ballclub. Now if you don’t mind, I’ve got to do some scouting at Happy Smiles Pre-School.”