Aren’t there some crimes so weird and daffy that you wish you were in the room when the idiots who pulled it off first came up with the idea?
See, there were these three fools in Michigan who were arrested last week for stealing a 14-foot stuffed alligator from a stranger’s barn, then going “mud bogging” with it before getting tracked down and arrested.
If you don’t know what “mud bogging” is, it’s all kinds of fun. You basically get a big ole’ truck and try to drive it through a pit of mud. I’m guessing it’s probably 84 percent more fun if you’re drunk while you’re doing it.
So here’s how I imagine the conversation going, the meeting of the minds where the idea was hatched (and please, you must click on the above link just to see the mugshots of these three geniuses).
Man No. 1: Hey Cletus, whatcha wanna do tonight?
Man No. 2: I dunno. What are you in the mood for?
Man No. 3: I got it! Why don’t we go mud bogging?
Man No. 1: Awesome, but we do that all the time. Need something better.
Man No. 3: How ’bout we break into some dude’s barn, steal a 14-foot stuffed alligator, and go bogging with that??? And we can pick up a case of Colt. 45 on the way!
(All men in unison) Well all right!
Ah, America. Land of the free and home of the stupid.
**I’m just going to present this photo without much comment, except to say I’m really, really frightened to be the people sitting next to this guy at the beach the next time he takes his shirt off. That’s a WWE championship belt, if you can’t tell: