Daily Archives: September 6, 2011

Why the Weather Channel’s website reassures me. The world’s No. 1 player dances. And what if the Spelling Bee worked like the BCS?

And now, a few words about the absolute certainties in life.

No, I’m not talking about death, taxes, or me eating a chocolate chip cookie if it’s in front of me.
I’m talking about my new favorite absolute certainty: The Weather Channel’s website.
Specifically, I’m talking about the times when you log on there for your local forecast (as I did Tuesday), and it shows you this:

“Chance of Rain: 100%”

First, that amazes me.  One hundred percent? They are 100 percent sure it’s going to rain on Wednesday? Like, there’s NO possibility that it won’t rain?
I mean, does the meteorologist walk into the room and tell his co-workers “Fellas, this thing is a lock. I guarantee it’s raining in New York Wednesday. No doubt about it. Go ahead and move that percentage to 100.”

There are so few guarantees in life. We think we’re getting that job, and we don’t. We’re sure the Patriots are beating the Giants in the Super Bowl a few years ago, and they don’t.
The world changes when we least expect it. No one can predict the future.
And yet The Weather Channel just goes out on that limb. They are 100 percent certain.
And that makes me feel better. Because now I know there’s one thing guaranteed to happen Wednesday.

**This is why I love this guy. Novak Djokovic doesn’t take himself, or his spot as the No.1 men’s tennis player in the world right now, too seriously. He’s got a great personality and knows how to have fun.
Check out this dance at :25, which he did after a match win last week. Here’s a guy so at ease with himself and not afraid to look silly.

**Finally, this slayed me. College football fans in particular will appreciate this. It’s a video from the blog nunesmagician.com, and it explains how The Spelling Bee would work if it was run like the BCS. Stick with it, it gets funnier as it goes along.

The 61-year-old lifeguard fired for NOT wearing a Speedo. A remarkable display of multi-tasking. AndA super-cool subway video from 1905.

**I love this story so much. Roy Lester, a 61-year-old Long Island man, has been a lifeguard at Jones Beach for three decades. He was fired recently because, he says, he refused to wear the required Speedo suit for his yearly swim test.
“Come on,” he said. “There should be a law prohibiting anyone over the age of 50 from wearing a Speedo.”
Could NOT agree more, Roy. Could not agree more. (that’s not him, above, that’s Giorgio Armani. Still looks pretty good for an old guy.)
We’ve all been at the beach and seen older men, men well beyond Speedo-wearing years, showing off almost their whole body with only that tiny piece of fabric covering their private parts.

Nobody wants to see that. Nobody. (There was once a very funny “Curb” episode where Larry David stopped seeing his therapist because he saw the Dr. at the beach in a Speedo. Speaking of “Curb,” the episode Sunday night featuring Bill Buckner? Brilliant. It’s been such a great “Curb” season. But I digress).

Anyway, Roy is suing Nassau County for age discrimination, and two weeks ago an appeals court ruled his lawsuit can go forward.

If Roy needs any money for his legal defense, I will gladly pony up a few bucks.

**This one may only be impressive/interesting to men who can relate.
So in the men’s room at the U.S. Open Monday I saw a remarkable, impressive and yet somewhat disturbing scene.
Standing at the urinal next to me was a guy who was texting on this phone with both hands.
While peeing.
At first I only noticed him out of the corner of my eye, because men don’t usually look at each other during such activities. But once I saw what he was doing, I admit, I looked at him (above the waist) for a few seconds.
I was at once horrified and impressed. Like, dude, you can’t wait 10 seconds to text that person? But also, I was like, “That’s impressive multi-tasking.”

That’s all. Just thought I’d share.

**Finally, I leave you with something very cool. This is a video from a 1905 subway ride in New York City. There’s no sound, and of course it’s grainy, but I just found it fascinating and oddly soothing. Enjoy.