Daily Archives: August 9, 2012

A brief open letter to Matthew Perry. The Mittster closes in on a veep. And a cereal protest gone very wrong

Dear Matthew Perry,
I write on behalf of all TV watchers everywhere, who laughed at you for years while you played Chandler Bing on “Friends.” I also enjoyed your serious turns on “West Wing” and “Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip.” You clearly have at least a modicum of acting talent.

But for the love of all things Joey Tribbiani, please stop starring in crappy television shows. Spare us the horribly cliched writing, the over-acting, the forced yukking for the camera.
We could forgive you “Mr. Sunshine,” which was terrible in every way even with the awesome Allison Janney in it. OK, so you made a bad mistake in choosing a show.
But now you’ve given us “Go On,” which I painfully sat through 20 minutes of Wednesday night. You’re a sports-radio host whose wife has died and you’re forced to go to group therapy to work out your feelings.
I know it’s just the pilot, but it’s BAD. Really, really, un-good. So I ask you, for the good of your career and us viewers in general, stop making bad TV choices.

Choose smarter (or have your agents choose smarter). Take a supporting role in something really good, like a miniseries or something. Don’t be the star, just blend in. You can make a comeback to good TV; hell, look at Matt LeBlanc! He did the horrendous “Joey” and “Lost in Space” and how he’s on the brilliant “Episodes.”

It’s not too late to save yourself, Matthew. In the words and vocal inflection of Chandler Bing, Could your career BE any deader after this show tanks?

Hugs and Kisses,
Michael

**So while we’ve all been watching the awesome Olympics (great stories Wednesday with Allyson Felix winning the 200 meters, and Misty May-Treanor and Kerri Walsh-Jennings winning a third straight gold in beach volleyball), it looks like everyone’s favorite Republican presidential nominee is closing in on a veep choice.
According to this story from NBC News, it’s going to be one of three men: Senator Rob Portman of Ohio (a former G.W. Bush appointee), former Governor Tim Pawlenty of Minnesota (who wowed us in the GOP primaries), or Rep. Paul Ryan of Wisconsin, he of the plan to slash Medicare and completely obliterate spending in this country.

OK, so I may be biased, but I don’t think any of these boring white men move the needle for independent voters. I think Ryan will galvanize Democrats, I think Portman is going to remind everyone of W’s disastrous reign, and Pawlenty is the one who coined the phrase “Obamneycare.”

Clearly, Mitt’s looking for a safe choice who won’t overshadow him.
Me? I think he ought to pick Sarah Palin and surprise the hell out of America.

**Finally, a lesson here: If you’re going to protest at a company’s headquarters by burning their product, make sure you know how to actually set said product on fire…