The spider who caused a Swiss panic. “Hard Knocks” starts with a bang. And beach volleyball and bickering Brazilians are must-see TV

So I found myself riveted by the U.S.-Brazil women’s beach volleyball match Tuesday, and no, not because there were beautiful women in bikinis (they weren’t even wearing bikinis, it was cold and raining in London during the match).
The U.S. team of Jen Kessy and April Ross were entertaining, and the match itself was exciting, with the American team rallying to win in three games.
But no, what I couldn’t stop watching was the intense arguing between the two Brazilian players, Juliana Silva and Larissa Franca (here’s a clip of them from a previous tournament, yelling at each other).

They were a hoot. They yelled at each other in Portugese the whole match, during timeouts, during points, everything. It seemed like Larissa was doing most of the yelling, even when it was her fault that Brazil lost the point. Apparently, I looked up after the match, this is common, that they yell all the time.

Sounds like a reality TV show waiting to happen if you ask me.

**So after a one-year absence, “Hard Knocks” is back on HBO. Which delights me. If you don’t know it, “Hard Knocks” is the show which goes behind the scenes in one team’s NFL training camp, showing us everything that goes on over five weeks.
This year the Miami Dolphins are in the spotlight, and even though the Dolphins are my 2nd-most hated NFL team (behind the Patriots, of course), I had to tune in and watch.
Couple initial thoughts on a really good first episode:
– I could’ve lived without seeing 300-pound lineman Mike Pouncey getting his nose hair trimmed. Just saying.
– Loved seeing Braylon Edwards, the former diva receiver, act so humble. Everyone comes back to Earth eventually, maybe you shouldn’t be such a jerk during your time at the top.
– Chad Ochocinco Johnson or whatever the hell he’s called: When you were a star, people laughed at your act and praised you. Now that you stink, not so much.
– I think it’s clear that rookie QB Ryan Tannehill’s wife Lauren will become the star of the show, don’t you think?

**Finally, an office in Switzerland had a little panic last week. Employees got really scared and called the police when they spotted a spider on a table.
When the police arrived, they made the shocking discovery that it was a PLASTIC spider.
Seriously, Swiss people? You’re calling the police over a spider? Even if it were real, there’s not one brave fellow who could’ve just stepped on it, or smacked it with a magazine (If national hero Roger Federer had been there, he would’ve smashed the critter with a racket).

I love what the police did, though. After pointing out it was plastic, they made the workers listen to an instructional lecture called “how to tell the difference between real spiders and plastic toys.”

Next week’s lecture at the firm: Superman: Can he really fly or is that just some fancy special effects?

Should we tax junk food to raise money? NFL labor peace in our time! And a great Beastie Boys/Sesame Street collaboration

So this is no big news headline, but Americans keep getting fatter and fatter.
And our ability to bring in revenue for the government has plummeted as well, thanks to the Republicans’ belief that any new taxes equal the fall of life as we know it.

So I thought it was good that a writer named Mark Bittman wrote a piece in the N.Y. Times Sunday bringing back the argument that we should tax junk food.
Think about it: You’re giving people a financial inducement to eat healthier, and all that crap people are eating is making them sick and driving up health care costs, which affects all of us.

Truly, I’ve never been on this side of this issue before; I used think people should be able to eat whatever the hell they want and that’s their business.
But I’ve been turned around on it. Read this fascinating article and see what you think.

**NFL labor peace has finally arrived. There’s no sport that I anticipate more in the beginning of the season than football, probably because the offseason is so long. (Totally random digression: Football also was the subject of my all-time favorite quote from the greatest TV show ever, “The Wire.” It was from Prez, the cop-turned-teacher; while he was watching a game his girlfriend came in and asked who was winning. His reply: “Nobody wins. One side just loses more slowly.” True of the drug war, too, of course.)
Anyway, from everything I’m reading, neither the players nor the owners got everything they wanted. Thankfully, there’ll be no 18-game season anytime soon, and it looks like retired players got a much better deal than they previously had.
Now, the next week should be nuts, with every team trying to sign its own free agents, and everyone else’s. From my Jets fan perspective, keeping Santonio Holmes needs to be Priority No.1. Braylon Edwards can walk, I’d like to see them keep Antonio Cromartie because he’s pretty good, but Brad Smith is sadly, probably a goner.
Most importantly, training camp opens in a few days, and the season will start on time.
Awesome. To get you ready for the season, check out (above) the Evolution of Dance guy doing the “Evolution of the Touchdown Dance.”

**And finally, just your typical Beastie Boys song performed with the characters of Sesame Street. This killed me:

A thrilling win for the Jets. And a senseless tragedy in Arizona

It’s three hours after the game as I type this, and I’m still too pumped up for sleep.
In yet another heart-stopping game in this NFL season for my beloved Jets, the green and white got a last-second field goal from Nick Folk and beat Indianapolis, 17-16.
So much to digest from this game. Since there was much bigger, more important news on this day, I’ll be relatively brief up here in this part.
Some quick-hitting thoughts for a wonderful win:
– Mark Sanchez, you were terrible most of the game. But man did you have a great final drive.
– That was the Jets running game we saw last year. So great to see LT and Shonn Greene pound the Colts defense in the 2nd half.
– Antonio Cromartie, your defense lapse that led to a TD is forgiven, thanks to that enormous kickoff return on the final drive.
– Braylon Edwards, you’re still not getting a big contract next year. But you were huge tonight.
– Jets defense was superb against Peyton Manning. OK, they didn’t sniff a sack all night, but the coverage was fantastic.
– Not ready to worry/think about having to play New England next week. Gonna enjoy this one at last until  Monday.
Jets 17, Colts 16. My boys live to see another day. Halle-freaking-llujah.

**There are many elements of horror in Saturday’s despicable murder of six people, and the serious wounding of a U.S. Congresswoman named Gabrielle Giffords, at a public event at a supermarket in Arizona.
Of course my heart breaks for the victims, including a 9-year-old girl named Christina Taylor Green, who had just been elected to her school’s student council.
And it’s truly a disgusting mind that decides armed violence is the way to react to a situation.
Here’s what really stung me, though, when I first heard about what happened: I wasn’t surprised.
Not in this America, circa 2011. Not when the extreme partisanship and disagreements of our nation’s citizens have become so angry, so virulent, so filled with hate.
Not when a disgrace of a politician named Sarah Palin puts the map below on her website, a pathetic graphic with gun sights set over the districts of 20 Congressmen she opposes, and says “it’s time to take a stand.” (I wonder how Palin slept Saturday night, knowing her “idea map” was carried out by a citizen.)
This is what we have become, and a tragedy like this has been coming down the pike for a long, long time.
I’m not naive enough to think this horror will change things in America. But maybe, just maybe, it will convince our leaders in the media, on TV, everywhere, to turn down the rhetorical volume a little. To demonize a little less the other side’s leaders and views. This must stop, now, all of this hate.
Out of tragedy, can sometimes come hope.

Riffing on “Hard Knocks” and “Weeds.” And Fox News, oh, Fox News

Watched two fantastic TV shows Wednesday night, two of my favorites.

Episode 3 of “Hard Knocks: Training Camp with the New York Jets” on HBO was

outstanding. So much good stuff packed into an hour. Rex Ryan losing his mind in excitement over a big hit by a Jets rookie named Chauncey Washington. The human drama of a player tearing his Achilles and being out for the rest of the season now. The hilarity of linebacker Bart Scott asking if the magician hired for the team party can “pull (holdout Darrelle) Revis out of a hat.”

NFL Films and HBO do such a magnificent job with this show, completely bringing you inside the locker room. I’m a little surprised they haven’t focused more on guys like Jason Taylor and Braylon Edwards, but otherwise, it’s been fantastic, with two more episodes to go.

And then there was “Weeds,” the second episode of the new season. I love how they seem to take this show in a new direction every year. Frankly, I was getting a little sick of Esteban and his goons (though somehow I really wish Helia and Conrad, from the first few seasons, would come back. They were hilarious).

Great episode of  ”Weeds” this week, as the Botwins flee Mexico and become the Newmans. The scene with the bonfire, where they all burn their old identities while “Rabbi Andy” presides over the service? Freaking brilliant. I can’t wait to see what act of psychopathy (is that a word? Don’t think so) Shane will pull next.

If you have Showtime and you’re not watching “Weeds,” shame on you. If you don’t have Showtime, get it just to watch “Weeds.” It’s subversive and brilliant.

**Finally, sometimes Jon Stewart’s material just writes itself.  Fox News tried to get its audience all whipped up about a shady Saudi Arabian billionaire who is “funding” the New York City Ground Zero Muslim community center.

Except, he’s the same guy who’s Rupert Murdoch’s partner in News Corp. Oops. Watch and enjoy:

The lunacy of “Avatar” depression, a few words about Braylon, and an original wedding proposal

So I’ve thought for years that we’d just about run out of fake reasons for people to claim they’re sick.

But nope, every year, we get more and more “fake” illnesses and bullshit medical conditions that seem to afflict so many of our citizens.

Now my friends, we’ve got something called the “Avatar” blues, wherein people who see James Cameron’s epic movie leave the theatre and are seriously depressed for weeks afterward, because the reality of life on Earth can’t match the wonder that is Pandora (the planet in the movie.)

According to this CNN story, thousands of people have logged onto “Avatar” fan sites to deal with their depression, and some have had near-suicidal thoughts:

“Ever since I went to see ‘Avatar’ I have been depressed,” said a user named Mike. Watching the wonderful world of Pandora and all the Na’vi made me want to be one of them. I can’t stop thinking about all the things that happened in the film and all of the tears and shivers I got from it,” Mike posted. “I even contemplate suicide thinking that if I do it I will be rebirthed in a world similar to Pandora and the everything is the same as in ‘Avatar.”

To which my response is: ARE YOU KIDDING ME? It’s a movie, people! A movie! This is driving you to depression, that you can’t live in this world???

Look, when I was little I saw “Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory,” and I desperately wanted to go live in the factory. But after a few minutes I knew it was fake and I got on with my life!!!

Ugh. Just makes me mad.

***On a less-depressing note, New York Jets receiver Braylon Edwards was in a Cleveland court Tuesday, and received a suspended sentence of 180 days in jail and a $1,000 fine.

Of course, when our man Braylon was handed the sentence by the judge, he dropped it.

(Braylon, sweetheart, you’ve got to make a big play this week against the Chargers! We need you!)

**Finally, there are some creative wedding proposals, and then there’s what this guy did. Derrick Childress spent three days and nights figuring out how to light-write his question to his girlfriend in Raleigh, N.C..

I’m pretty sure she said yes:

The future is now for the Jets, a crazy idea by Seattle, and NBC’s bad Olympics promo

How am I feeling today? Well, maybe this will give you a good idea:

Yes, yes, yes, Ren and Stimpy speak for all of us Jets fans this morning. What a glorious, glorious afternoon and early evening of football the Green and White played Saturday. It went about as well as we could’ve possibly hoped, and for one afternoon, you could squint hard at the TV and see the Jets future:

Mark Sanchez, playing poised and confident, making every big throw he needed to. Shonn Greene, the rookie running back, dashing and darting his way through the holes, and not fumbling; an aggressive defense, which save for one early drive and one big run by Cedric Benson, was terrific.

This Jets team is good now, as evidenced by their 24-14 victory over Cincinnati. But as both my fellow Jet-aholic friends Scott (who writes a great blog about “The Office,” by the way) and Jeff pointed out to me during the game, there’s clearly so much hope for the future. All the building blocks are in a place for a long run among the NFL’s elite.

But let’s wallow in the present for a moment. Saturday’s game was exactly the blueprint the Jets needed to win. Sanchez was terrific, hitting 12 of 15 passes for one touchdown. He should’ve had two, but Braylon Edwards, God love him, still seems to have trouble with perfectly-thrown bombs that are right in his hands.

The running game was terrific, thanks to Greene, who took over the main duties from Thomas Jones today (but hey, TJ did score a huge touchdown). The offensive line was fantastic. The defense shut down that loudmouth Chad Johnson, and got just enough pass rush on Carson Palmer in the second half to make him look terrible. And how ’bout Jay Feely, the placekicker who was forced into punting duties when Steve Weatherford had an irregular heartbeat right before the game? Feely was fantastic, very clutch as usual.

One down, two more to go to get to Miami and the Super Bowl. OK, I’m drunk with delusion; the Jets aren’t getting to the Super Bowl.

But if Baltimore can beat New England today, and I think it can, the Jets would play San Diego next week. I think that’s winnable, especially since Norv Turner coaches the Chargers.

Sweet, sweet win. I’m going to enjoy this one for a few days. Heck, I’m not even mad that my Dukies played terrible today and lost at Georgia Tech.

**Hey NBC, is it really a good idea to run commercials starring Michael Phelps when you’re trying to promote the Winter Olympics? I’m just saying, you can’t give us some Bode Miller clips, or maybe Shani Davis the speedskater, or the Flying Tomato, Shaun White?

Just makes it seem like NBC is saying the only good Olympians are the Summer ones.

***We wonder sometimes why some NFL franchises are usually successful, and others aren’t. Other times, it’s quite obvious, like a smack in the face.

The Seattle Seahawks, for reasons I can’t possibly fathom, have decided to give a 5-year contract as their head coach to Mr. Pete Carroll, who we all know is a bang-up college football coach, truly just a swell guy, but an absolutely horrific pro coach.

He proved that with the Jets, and then New England, in the late 1990s, as his career record was 33-31. Yet for some reason, Seattle thinks he’s the answer, and will lead them to the Promised Land of the Super Bowl.

What an awful, awful decision. Everyone else in the NFC West is celebrating right now. Just like me. Here’s Seattle Times columnist Steve Kelley’s take; he’s just as enthused as I am about Pete.

Hey, one more time, with feeling…

I agonize over the Jets again, Belichick turns stupid for a minute, and ruminations from the supermarket

OK, nine games.

Not bad, New York Jets. Nine games in, and I can officially call it a season.

No playoffs, certainly not at 4-5 with the Pats coming up next week. No Super Bowl (ha!). No real reason to expect things to change in this, my 28th year of fandom (I was too young the first six years of my life to really appreciate this lovely franchise).

I really don’t feel like re-hashing all the things the Jets did wrong in their excruciating 24-22 loss to Jacksonville Sunday, but a few must be brought up:

– The defense is off for TWO weeks, and the Jets play like that? Awful tackling. Pressure on the QB in the second half, but not much in the first. And the pass defense on the final drive was atrocious.

– Braylon Edwards, you want a big contract? You HAVE to make that catch on the 2-point conversion the 4th, after the Jets put together a fantastic drive to take the lead. Don’t give me any garbage about the hit knocking the ball out; you have to make that play. If he does, I think the Jets lead by 3 and the game goes to overtime.

– I know it didn’t cost them any points, but Mark Sanchez, what the hell was that throw on the second interception, when the Jags’  defensive end, Quinton Groves was RIGHT THERE in front of your face, and you threw it anyway? Thankfully Groves forgot how to run at the end there, and tripped over his own feet at the 4-yard line. But still, terrible decision by our franchise QB. He did, however, have a great 4th quarter to redeem himself.

–Only my beloved Jets can try to let a guy score at the end of the game, which was the right thing to do, and fail at that, too.

– Rex Ryan, you’re a defensive coach. A brilliant coach, we’ve been told. One of the great minds in the NFL. Yet this is now twice in the last six weeks, when your offense gets you the lead, all you need is one stop to win the game, and your defense, which talks more trash than any team has a right to, can’t get it done. This was the freakin’ Jaguars, for God’s sakes, not the 1989 49ers or the 1998 Minnesota Vikings!

– More timeouts burned needlessly by the Jets in the second half. Didn’t we already go through this during the Herm Edwards Era?

Ugh. Just awful. This team is just not that good. The rookie QB is learning, the rookie head coach is learning, and it looks like 7-9 is in our future.

Thank God Duke basketball is getting underway. I need a good team to root for this winter.

**Some other NFL thoughts from a wacky Week 11:

– Bill Belichick made one of the craziest coaching decisions I’ve ever seen this side of Ray Handley and Art Shell Sunday night. After his Patriots pretty much dominated Indianapolis, Belichick decided to go for it, up 34-28, on 4th and 2 from his own 28-yard-line. Why? Clearly, he had no faith in his defense stopping Mr. Peyton Manning, but still, they’d stopped the Colts a few times already, and don’t you at least have to try?

Of course, the Pats didn’t make it on 4th down, and the Colts had great field position, and of course Peyton Manning made a superb throw on the score that won the game. Doug Hennig never made as many escapes as Indy’s No. 18. My friend Pearlman just wrote a blog about his greatness.

**Fantastic, hard-hitting Bengals-Steelers game Sunday. What an amazing turnaround by Cincy. Quick, someone call Ickey Woods and see if he still knows how to shuffle.

**OK, everyone who thought the one-win Rams would have a pass attempt that could beat the undefeated Saints on the last play of the game Sunday, please raise your hand. This is yet another reason I don’t gamble on the NFL.

**Finally, I love supermarkets. Always have. There’s just something about food shopping that makes me feel like a grown-up. Seinfeld has said this before, and he’s totally right: As a kid in the supermarket, you have to beg your parents for food. As a grown-up, you can buy whatever the hell you want.

Anyway, two ruminations from my Sunday evening trip to the store:

– One way I always know the new year is coming is when the milk’s expiration date is past January first. This is the earliest I ever remember it happening, but I got a carton with a “Jan. 6, 2010″ date on it. I was excited.

– It’s 2009. Hasn’t anyone at the company that makes Comet (Prestige Brands, I just learned) figured out a way to put a real, closeable top on the bottle yet, instead of that stupid adhesive tape that never sticks after you open the bottle? I mean, seriously, is this really so hard?

This is the stuff I think about. And you wonder why I have trouble sleeping…

A crushing, crushing Jets loss. And a so-so Michael Moore movie reviewed

Most of this time, I try to entertain or make you think on this blog.

Today, though, today is not for that. Today is for me and the rest of Jets nation to wallow in the feeling of being crushed, and having our guts ripped out.

Fortunately for us, it’s a feeling we’ve come to know quite well. Doesn’t make it any easier to cope with, but we’re used to it.

Consider this my therapy. If it helps you, great. If not, well, I’ll feel better in a few hundred words (I think.)

A loss to the Miami Dolphins is one thing. A loss to the Dolphins on national TV is another. But a loss to the damn Dolphins with six seconds left? After the Jets supposedly “strong” defense allows Miami to march down the field and then score the winning touchdown when Ronnie Brown, who I swear ran for 150 yards Monday (actually only 74), busts in from the 2? Just brutal.

It was a hell of an exciting game, sure. It reminded me of so many classic Jets-Dolphins games from my youth.

And before I start pointing out the bad, I have to point out a few positives: 1, Mark Sanchez throws a hell of a deep ball. It wasn’t a great game for the rookie QB, but he tantalizes us sometimes by showing how good he can be. Those overthrows in the first half and missed reads? All is forgiven after the gorgeous deep ball to David Clowney (welcome to the team, sir) and the perfectly thrown pass to Braylon Edwards.

Man, Sanchez is going to be great once he figures out what he’s doing.

2. Braylon. Wow. I’d call that a pretty good debut! One touchdown, should’ve had another (that was a terrible overrule on his second TD; yes his knee was down but he hadn’t been touched yet!), and he drew a pass interference penalty that set up the go-ahead touchdown in the fourth. I am utterly excited to see what Edwards and Sanchez can cook up after a few weeks of practice. He’s already the best Jets receiver since Keyshawn Johnson.

3. The running game looked a lot better. Still not great, but they got the tough yards when they needed to; Thomas Jones had a little burst, and Leon (who didn’t get the ball enough, again; 11 touches???) Washington looked good, too.

OK, now for the bad. The defense. Just awful. I don’t know which was worse, the run defense of the pass defense. Chad Henne, a quarterback making his second career start, threw 20 of 26 for 241 yards. That’s unacceptable. I understand Lito Sheppard is hurt, but come on. Darrelle Revis and the safeties got burned like fingers trying to take a plate out of the oven without mitts on (OK, that didn’t really work, but go with me here) by Ted Ginn of all people. Ted Ginn, who couldn’t catch a cold the last few weeks.

The pass rush? I didn’t see it. Tackling? Nowhere near as good as it has been; Calvin Pace, in his first game back, whiffed quite a few times on Ronnie Brown and Ricky Williams.

And still, as bad as the defense was, they just needed one or two stops on the final drive. To me, the game was as good as over on that 3rd and 10 when Henne hit, I think Camarillo on the pass wide by the sideline for a first down. ONE STOP is all the Jets needed, and couldn’t get it.

I’m not going overboard, though, like many on the Jets message boards I just checked out. Some of those people on there are insane, bashing Rex Ryan and wanting to get rid of everyone and all that idiocy.

Would I have taken a 3-2 record after five games, back on Sept. 1? Of course. But that’s the problem with raised expectations. Once you go 3-0, you’re not supposed to be 3-2.

The Jets will get the defense fixed. I’m confident of that. I’m confident they can beat the two JV teams on the schedule next, Buffalo and Oakland.

But tonight, as I type this in what Frank Sinatra called “the wee small hours of the morning,” I’m just feeling empty, with a bit of bile and one request:

I don’t want to hear the word “Wildcat” for at least a week.

*** So I went to see the Michael Moore movie “Capitalism: A Love Story” on Sunday. (By the way, the geniuses at my local cineplex spelled the first word of the title “Capitolism” on the marquee. The epidemic of bad spelling in this country is really staggering).

My verdict? Pretty good, not great. It has most of the Moore-movie hallmarks: Outrage at big shots, some new revelations of unethical business practices (life insurance policies on employees was an eye-opener for me), and some funny bits.

I guess I expected more, though. Problem is, Moore is too famous to ambush anyone anymore; nobody who would make a good “gotcha” subject is willing to talk to him. I also thought the movie dragged a little in the middle, and was a little too “all over the place” at times. We pinballed from topic to topic quite a bit.

Still, it was worth my seven bucks. I just feel like Moore is now acting like the person we all expect him to be, and he’s losing a little genuineness in the process.

Great fall TV, the power of LeBron helps the Jets, and Rush Limbaugh as NFL owner?

So the brain‘s a little fried tonight, too fried for any deep thoughts. So, I figured it’s time for a post about the television I’m watching. It’s really been a great fall season; I usually get depressed after the summer when “Rescue Me” and

“Weeds” go off.

But a bunch of my favorite shows have been really good this year:

**”Curb Your Enthusiasm.” I’ve been pretty hard on this show the last two seasons; it was so incredibly awesome for the first four years, with so many classic episodes (“Krazy Eyez Killer,” the one with Larry humming Wagner, the last “Producers” episode, just to name a few), and then I really feel like it fell off a cliff the last two seasons. It was like Larry David ran out of ideas and was just doing anything silly without a point.

But after three episodes the funny is definitely back. The reunion of the “Seinfeld” cast is bound to be hilarious, and good ole’ Leon still won’t leave Larry’s house (he was the only one of the Black family that I liked). It’s been almost as good as it’s ever been, which is good enough for me. And Susie Greene has been screaming at Larry, which I always enjoy.

**”Glee.” I’ve already raved about this show a bunch here, but it has gotten even better as the season has gone along. Jane Lynch is so perfect as the cheerleading coach, the scene with the gay kid Kurt trying out for the football team to Beyonce’s music was pee-in-your-pants funny, and the music is, of course, fantastic. If you’re not watching this yet, I don’t know what’s wrong with you.  If you like “Weeds,” you would definitely like “Glee.”

**Mad Men:” Outstanding start to Season 3. I dislike Pete Campbell as much as ever, especially after Sunday night. I totally don’t get the Duck-Peggy shtupping thing, but maybe she sees in him someone who can make her a star in the ad world. I’m really surprised they still haven’t really explored Sal’s homosexuality in an intelligent way; this is one show I trust wouldn’t fall victim to stereotypes and cheap, stupid jokes.

And the John Deere tractor accident in the office? Too damn funny.

**”Desperate Housewives:” Solid start, though once again I wonder, “Do any of these people ever work at their real jobs?” Love having Gabby and mini-Gabby (her niece) in the same house. So many of these characters are bordering on pathetic to me, though; Susan, Bree (come on, sleeping with Carl???), and now they’re making Katherine a psycho.

Gotta love having Adrianna from “The Sopranos” on, though. I still can’t look at her and not hear her saying “Chris-to-fuh.”

**And of course, my new fave, “Modern Family.” Three episodes in, all hilarious. Wednesday night’s was freakin’ brilliant. Ten-year-old Manny sitting at the kitchen table counseling his “sister,” played by Julie Bowen? Phil and Ed O’Neill’s character flying a model airplane together? This show is so good.

**I got a hilarious voice mail from my sports-obsessed friend Tony Jones this morning, before I’d heard the great news. Well, great news for Jets fans.

“How big is LeBron James in Cleveland? He can get a Cleveland Brown traded! That ain’t even his sport!

I laughed, but Tony’s dead right. Braylon Edwards has been a malcontent for years, missing meetings, fighting teammates, loafing on the field, all of it. And nothing happens to make the Browns want to get rid of him.

But then he punches one of LeBron James’ friends outside a club, and three days later, bye-bye Braylon! You DO NOT mess with a member of the James posse and live in Cleveland to tell about it. I’m sure it was just a coincidence, right?

Anyway, as a Jets fan I’m very happy. Yeah, Edwards comes with some baggage (he drops a lot of balls, has some off field issues) but he’s in a new, winning situation now, and he knows he has to behave and play well if he wants a big new contract. This could do so many things for the Jets offense: take pressure off Jerricho Cotchery, open up the field for tight end Dustin Keller, and give Thomas Jones and Leon Washington some running room by not allowing opposing defenses to stack the line of scrimmage.

(By the way, my mother and my wife, the two women I love the most, didn’t understand a word of what I just wrote. But it’s all good.)

This is a great move made by a bold Jets franchise that’s been making good moves for a few years now (including firing Eric Mangini).

**Finally, it looks like Rush Limbaugh is trying to buy the St. Louis Rams. All I can say is, if it happens, expect the Rams to run a ton of plays to the right.

Thank you. I’m here all week. Try the veal.