My new Wii Fit game mocks me ruthlessly. Two dog videos to make you smile. And underwear in the microwave: not a good idea

So much to my delight, I’ve become a Wii person again.
I had one a few years ago and loved it, especially the Wii Fit game and the Wii Grand Slam Tennis, but it was one of the things that didn’t come with me in the divorce.
Happily, my Dad and stepmom bought us one for our birthdays this week, and so I am happily looking forward to diving back into the routine.
First, though, the Wii Fit game decided to humiliate me. To start your new Wii Fit routine, you have to take a “fitness and balance test,” of sorts. Basically the game asks you how tall you are, and then does a quick body mass calculation, as well as giving you a few balance tests.

Then, it spits out your “Wii Fit age.” This Friday I turn 37 years old. My Wii Fit age? 48.
Forty-eight! I was mad. I was angry at the little man inside the game who told me my age.
Then I realized it was a stupid little game, went out for a run, and feel more inspired than ever to drop the 10 pounds I’ve gained this year.

Hey, you get inspiration from wherever you can.

**Two dog videos that I think you will like on this “dog day” of August, where it’s steaming hot most everywhere in America.
The first (above) is a sweet story of a man named John Unger and his arthritic dog Shep, and the gesture John makes all the time: He floats with his 18-year-old pooch on his shoulder in Lake Superior, to ease the dog’s suffering. Truly special to watch.

The second video is a little different: A man filmed 58 dogs in four minutes at a boarding kennel, capturing all their expressions. Very eye-catching, and hard to forget after watching.

**Sometimes, you wonder if certain people should be allowed to vote, and drive cars.
A man in Weymouth, England decided to dry his underwear, and his socks, the other day using a method not really recommended by any clothing manufacturer: He put them in a microwave oven.
To his astonishment, said articles of clothing caught fire, the microwave caught fire, and firefighters had to be called to extinguish the blaze, but not before smoke damaged the apartment.

Man, would I have loved to have heard that 911 call.
Course, this reminds me of a famous story in my family, when my father washed my Cabbage Patch Doll, then left him in front of a space heater to dry.
He then went about his day, forgetting about Cassius Frankie (that was his name, and I loved him), only to smell smoke and come running.
Poor Frankie’s foot was singed! And when I got home I noticed, suspiciously, that the doll had a large Band-Aid over his right heel.

Ah, family memories.

The greatest (or most disgusting) ice cream sundae ever. A Wii Fit question. And the Tiger commercial: Do you get it?

If there’s one thing we love here at this blog, it’s wacky or interesting or totally bizarre food concoctions. Every once in a while some culinary visionary comes up with something so spectacular, so impressive, or so nauseating, that I feel compelled to write about it.

Usually, these superlatives of the stomach seem to come from the sports world.

Ladies and gentlemen, let me introduce you to the Toledo Mud Hens baseball team’s newest concession stand offering.

You know how when you were a kid at Baskin-Robbins or some other ice cream place, they’d sometimes offer you a helmet sundae, with a scoop of ice cream in a mini batting helmet?

Well, this is basically the same concept behind the Fanatic Freeze, the Mud Hens’ newest dessert.

Except, it’s 15 scoops of ice cream served in an actual sized batting helmet. It’s 3,800 calories, and meant to serve at least seven or eight people.

Still … 15 scoops! That’s insane. I’d love to see two people try to eat that bad boy. They should give free tickets to anyone who can eat the whole thing themselves.

**OK, quick Wii Fit Plus question, to any of you out there as addicted to it as I am (random note: I finally got to the end in the advanced obstacle course game! I’d only been trying forever.)

Sometimes when you’re doing the Wii Fit, and you’re training with the personal trainer, you’ll start your workout and a guy will come on and say “Your regular trainer isn’t here today, so I’m going to fill in.”

Tell me: Where the hell does she go? She lives inside the CD the game is on. I mean seriously, is she off with another client in the next apartment? Is she taking a nap and can’t be bothered when I want to work out? Did she have errands to run across town?

I just find it so odd.

**Finally, I give up. I’ve been trying to figure out what the heck this new Nike Tiger Woods commercial means. I’ve watched it a few times, read Joe Posnanski’s analysis (he doesn’t have a clue, either), and asked some people I know what it’s about.

Nobody knows. Nobody can get over how weird it is to have Earl Woods’ disembodied voice talking to his son, while Tiger just stands there staring.

It’s just a stupid commercial, maybe, or maybe there’s a deeper meaning and I’m just not getting it.

See it for yourself and maybe you can tell me what it’s supposed to mean: