Daily Archives: December 8, 2009

A longtime crook finally gets caught, a Duke hoops tragedy, and “SNL” nails Tiger

I was a happy guy Tuesday because finally, one of the bad guys lost.

There are certain politicians who just always seem to get away with everything.

You know they’re dirty, the district attorneys and other lawyers know their dirty, but time after time they escape the clutches of the law. Former Alaska senator Ted Stevens was one of those guys, until he was finally caught and convicted in 2008.

And now, Joe Bruno is headed to the slammer. Joe Bruno, for those who don’t know him, ruled the New York state assembly as Majority Leader for 14 years, and was in the state senate for 31 years. He made deals, he flouted ethics rules, and he basically got away with anything he wanted, because Joe was all powerful.

The one good thing I could say about the Republican leader is that he did help get millions in state money for the Capital Region, where I once lived for a few years.

But with Joe, the bad outweighed the good. He stalled any forward-looking, Democratic legislation he could. He made backroom deals and cut out so many in the democratic process. He helped ram a bill through that brought back the death penalty to New York, and was as virulently anti-choice as you could get when it came to abortion.

But his corruption truly galled me. Every deal he made, was a favor to a lobbyist or had some shady connotation. But he was never caught.

Until, finally, last year, when he was indicted on eight federal felony counts of corruption and mail fraud. Seems Old Joe was accused of taking $3.2 million in consulting fees from an “associate” for work that was never done.

Monday, the guilty verdict came in, and Old Joe Bruno was going to the slammer, for 20 years to life.

Oh, I don’t have any illusions that this will usher in a brand-new day in the sewer-filth that is New York state politics, or that crooks up in Albany won’t still get away with stuff.

But it is nice to know that every once in a while, justice does get served.

***At this point, if you’re a slutty woman who’s met Tiger Woods and he didn’t want to have an affair with you, aren’t you feeling kind of insulted? It’s like being the guy in gym class who nobody picked for Dodgeball.

I’m just saying. Also, check out this “SNL” skit from last week on Mr. Woods. Pretty damn funny.

**Speaking of politics, nice to see the U.S. Senate reject the disgusting language put into the healthcare bill that would have put serious restrictions on the LEGAL abortions being performed in the country.

Nice to see a Democratic senator, Ben Nelson, co-sponsoring this crap. Let’s hope the amendment dies here. Also, Harry Reid should stop talking, Comparing health-care opponents to those who opposed ending slavery is really stupid.

**Finally, a really sad story report in the Duke basketball family, of which I’m a rabid fan. Freshman guard Andre Dawkins, by all accounts a really nice kid and a terrific young player, lost his sister in a fatal car accident Saturday while she and his mom were driving to North Carolina to watch Andre and Duke play St. John’s.

It’s a terrible tragedy, one that I can’t even fathom happening to me or anyone I love. My heart goes out to the Dawkins family during this horrible time.

Wacky Tuesday stuff: An assault on snoring, Canadian researcher stymied on porn study, and a great Palin gaffe

As you know if you read this blog, I love wacky news stories. Something about them just makes me laugh, and feel better about myself all at the same time.

So here’s two for you, and just for added fun, a hilarious Sarah Palin goof.

OK, as one who has been known to snore a little, and as the spouse of one who snores a little, I can sorta empathize with this story

An 18-year-old kid in Florida was arrested and charged with domestic battery after he allegedly assaulted his dad, who was snoring very loudly.

Apparently young Dylan Watson (just sounds like a criminal with that name) threw a magazine at his father, who was snoring on the couch.

When that failed to rouse him, young Dylan jumped on dear old Dad and pummeled him in the face, causing minor swelling.

I’m not saying what he did was right, but I understand.

**Next up was a story I first heard about on NPR’s Wait Wait, Don’t Tell Me, only the funniest hour of radio you’ll ever hear.

Seems a Canadian researcher at the Interdisciplinary Research Center on Family Violence and Violence Against Women in Montreal was trying to determine the effects of pornography on men’s sexuality.

He wanted to compare two groups: Men who regularly look at porn, and men who have never looked at porn.

Only one problem: He couldn’t find any men who have never looked at porn.

He looked high, he looked low, he looked ’round the corner and ’round the bend, and yet, nothing.

Clearly, our guy could’ve found SOME non-porn watchers. The Bible Belt, perhaps, or in Amish country? Perhaps in the church … uh, yeah, 86 that idea.

**Finally, the delightful Sarah Palin. Seems in her new “book” (yes, quotation marks are needed) she used a great quote from the legendary basketball coach, John Wooden.

Here was the quote:

“Our land is everything to us…I will tell you one of the things we remember on our land. We remember our grandfathers paid for it — with their lives.”

Well, the L.A. Times, and Huffington Post, thought that sounded like an odd thing for the great Wooden to have said.

So they did a little checking. Turns out the line was actually written by a Native American activist named John Wooden Legs in an old anthology.

Seems the grandfather “paying for it with their lives” refers to, according to the essay Mr. Wooden Legs wrote, “my people and the Sioux defeating General Custer at Little Big Horn.”

Seriously? John Wooden is confused with John WOODEN LEGS!!!!?????? Did anyone at HarperCollins look over this baby at all!!!

Too damn funny. I’m sure John Wooden, god bless him, still with us at 99, would get a laugh about it.

Check out Huffington Post’s real John Wooden quotes at the end of that link above; those are worth more than anything Caribou Barbie has ever said.