So I’ve thought for years that we’d just about run out of fake reasons for people to claim they’re sick.
But nope, every year, we get more and more “fake” illnesses and bullshit medical conditions that seem to afflict so many of our citizens.
Now my friends, we’ve got something called the “Avatar” blues, wherein people who see James Cameron’s epic movie leave the theatre and are seriously depressed for weeks afterward, because the reality of life on Earth can’t match the wonder that is Pandora (the planet in the movie.)
According to this CNN story, thousands of people have logged onto “Avatar” fan sites to deal with their depression, and some have had near-suicidal thoughts:
“Ever since I went to see ‘Avatar’ I have been depressed,” said a user named Mike. Watching the wonderful world of Pandora and all the Na’vi made me want to be one of them. I can’t stop thinking about all the things that happened in the film and all of the tears and shivers I got from it,” Mike posted. “I even contemplate suicide thinking that if I do it I will be rebirthed in a world similar to Pandora and the everything is the same as in ‘Avatar.”
To which my response is: ARE YOU KIDDING ME? It’s a movie, people! A movie! This is driving you to depression, that you can’t live in this world???
Look, when I was little I saw “Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory,” and I desperately wanted to go live in the factory. But after a few minutes I knew it was fake and I got on with my life!!!
Ugh. Just makes me mad.
***On a less-depressing note, New York Jets receiver Braylon Edwards was in a Cleveland court Tuesday, and received a suspended sentence of 180 days in jail and a $1,000 fine.
Of course, when our man Braylon was handed the sentence by the judge, he dropped it.
(Braylon, sweetheart, you’ve got to make a big play this week against the Chargers! We need you!)