So it’s dawned on me that I haven’t written about our new pooch, Bernie, lately.
And since I’m feeling a little uninspired to rant and rave about something today, here are a few new things that our year-old mini dachsund has been doinground the apartment lately:
** He’s developed a new nickname: The Kleenex Killer. This dog just absolutely loves grabbing tissues and napkins off reachable areas, and shredding them all over the apartment. I walked into our computer room the other day and saw like 15 pieces of napkin. Why is this exciting to dogs?
**On our walks, he’s decided that some people are worth barking at all the time, other never, and that strange third category: People he barks at sometimes.
Dennis, a former prison guard from New York who walks around the complex every night, got barked at the first few days, then not at all for a while, and then a couple of times last week Bernie deemed him growl and bark-worthy.
I’m not exactly sure what Dennis has done to swing Bernie’s feelings toward him so wildly.
**He may be a European dog. He’s decided he doesn’t want to eat breakfast until noon, and then he chows down at dinner around 9-9:30 p.m. I’m thinking of getting him a French accent and a little beret.
** Bernie has started doing laps around the house, about 10-15 minutes after his late-night walk. He sprints 100 miles per hour (I clocked him) from one room to the other, totally not caring where he’s going or if anyone’s in the next room. I think it’s his idea of nautilus.
** Finally, Bernie has decided that no matter what else happens, he loves to burrow in laundry. Couple weeks ago I left a pile on the couch overnight. Then I woke up at 6:30 a.m. to pee, and found him stuck inside the pile of shirts and shorts. I freed him, and he shot back to his bed tute suite.
Why he couldn’t figure out how to get out, considering he, you know, got himself in there, will remain a mystery to me.
**So I read about two corporate decisions in the last few days that just reeked of stupid.
First, the New York Times has decided it’s undignified to use “tweet,” so it will no longer allow its writers to use the social media word.
My response? It makes the Times look stodgy and old and silly.
And then I read about General Motors, in an internal memo last week, telling its employees that in the interests of brand consistency, they should stop using the term “Chevy.”
Only Chevrolet should be used.
That’ s remarkably dumb. From the great Don Maclean song “American Pie” to the universally-known ’57 Chevy, the word “Chevy” is synonymous with the brand. Everyone instantly knows what you mean when you’re saying “Chevy.”
But yeah, GM, let’s go ahead and tell people not to use it. Ah, the geniuses in corporate America.