I think average-looking guys like myself always are shocked when we hear news like this week’s celebrity gossip, when the super-gorgeous Eva Longoria announced she was divorcing Tony Parker, the San Antonio Spurs basketball star.
Apparently, according to A.C. Slater (I mean, Longoria’s friend Mario Lopez, who played A.C. Slater on TV), Longoria found a bevy of text messages from the wife of one of Parker’s Spurs teammates, on Parker’s phone.
I don’t get it. I just don’t. Tony, sweetheart, you’re married to Eva Longoria, one of the most beautiful women in the world. What would possess you, an NBA star with fame and fortune beyond your wildest dreams, to find Eva Longoria, not enough for you?
Maybe Eva is mean in real life.
Maybe Tony no longer respected her work on “Desperate Housewives.” Maybe hanging around all those beautiful women who stalk/follow NBA players made him weak.
Whatever it is, it’s astonishing to me. And Eva, I’m here for you if you need a shoulder to cry on.
**So here’s something our current governor of Florida can hang his hat on: Sure, he didn’t win his Senate race, but Charlie Crist is trying to right a historical wrong: He’s trying to get Jim Morrison pardoned.
For those who are not Morrison fans, or have forgotten, the Doors lead singer was arrested and later convicted of exposing himself at a 1969 concert in Miami.
A great phrase from this story: “The evidence Morrison unzipped his pants was flimsy.” I’ll let you make your own joke there, this is a family blog (then again, I did write last week about the woman who attacked the police with a sex toy.)
I also like the sentence “none of the 100 photos admitted into evidence showed Morrison’s genitals.”
I love it when politicians get involved in this stuff, because really, who’s going to argue against it? The morals police? Free Jim Morrison.
But not, of course, his genitals. Those should stay packed away. And apparently in 1969, they did.