Dennis Miller, who used to be incredibly funny until after 9/11 when he became a humorless, Republican windbag, used to always start his rants by saying “I don’t want to get off on a rant here.”
In that spirit, I don’t want to waste too much mental energy complaining about the NFL and its ridiculous rules regarding how playoff teams are seeded.
Except, this year the issue is too egregious to ignore. The Seattle Seahawks, who have lost nine games while winning only seven, who have been blown out by teams like San Francisco and the Giants, who are both not in the playoffs, who were outscored by 97 points this season, are in the playoffs.
And get to host a team, the Saints, won four more games.
That means New Orleans, which was 25 percent better than Seattle, has to go on the road in the first round of the playoffs.
Look, of course division titles have to matter, and Seattle did, remarkably, win the pathetic NFC West. But the Seahawks in the playoffs are a joke. They won two road games all year.
If you’re going to have all division winners make the playoffs, fine. I’m not against that. But to have a clearly superior team have to play AT a clearly inferior one is just stupid and unfair.
Seed the playoffs based on record, and we wouldn’t have this problem.
Now, since I was just talking about Dennis Miller, here’s one of his classic rants. I was always proud of myself when I got one of his references:
**I’ve heard of some crazy-ass arrests before, but this is one of the craziest. A 13-year-old kid in the seventh grade at a middle school in Oklahoma City was arrested just before Christmas .
For using a permanent marker in class.
Let me say that again: He used a permanent marker, and was arrested.
Roosevelt Middle School teacher DeLynn Woodside caught the boy using the marker while he was at his desk, and the wild, crazy youth then tried to hide it when she asked him about it (as any kid would). Woodside told a police officer that he was “writing on a piece of paper, causing it to bleed over onto the desk. Good God man, the horror, the horror!
Oklahoma City recently passed a city ordinance making it illegal to possess spray paint or a permanent marker on private property. This was a public school, though, so I’m not sure how it applied (pun intended).
Woodside called the school police officer, and the student was cited, and then actually taken to a juvenile holding facility.
Seriously, how unbelievably screwed up is this?