Admit it: You’re stuck on a holiday gift for someone you love. We’ve all been there.
But my friends (that’s my John McCain voice there, it always creeped me out the way he said it), I’m here with the answer. Although the answer leaves me with so many more questions.
You don’t want to get someone a Snuggie. That’s so 2009. No, what you need is the “Forever Lazy” jumpsuit! Watch along with me at this remarkable infomercial, and marvel at the following:
— At 0:06: Who really fights their blanket that much when they’re sleeping alone?
— At :24: Yet another person wearing their “Forever Lazy” while reading. Do you know anyone who reads as much as the people in this video?
— At :29: I wanna know who are all these people who are having so much trouble talking on the phone wearing sweatshirts. Are these special ed people? People from another planet?
— At :39: I’m sorry, I’m calling total B.S. on this one. Three guys watching sports on a couch all wearing one-piece jumpsuits? This doesn’t set off alarm bells in anyone else’s head? And the guy in the middle jumps up so fast I’m worried he’ll get chafing from the “Forever Lazy” in his crotch area.
— at :58: Man I hope all that food the guy’s grabbing isn’t for him. Otherwise he’s going to need a much larger jumpsuit pretty soon.
— at 1:08: OK, if you’re wearing one of these bad boys at a tailgate, A, you’re not getting to talk to pretty girls like these guys are, and B, you are getting your butt kicked, guaranteed.
–at 1:19: “Hatches in the front and back, for great escapes when duty calls!” God I love a good double entendre.
I could go on and on; this thing is two minutes of non-stop goodness. Truly, I so desperately want to be in these meetings where these commercials are planned out. I would love to know what kind of drugs these marketing “geniuses” are on.
**Sports Illustrated, which always has some of the best sports photography in the world, has put out a collection of its best images of 2011. I love so many of these that it was hard to choose which one to put on this blog.
Check them out here; if you don’t have time to look at them all, check out 2, 10, 16 and 19 especially.
**Finally, the evil genius that is Jimmy Kimmel strikes again. He asked his viewers to “fake” videotape themselves giving their kids really awful Christmas presents. The kids’ reactions are awesome, especially the girl with the peanut butter and jelly sandwich about halfway through: