A bris is one of those things that, to borrow a concept from the great Jerry Seinfeld, would be really hard to explain to someone from outer space.
“So what we do is, we take a newborn male baby who’s a week old, bring him to a small party attended by about 40-50 of his parents friends, bring him in front of a table with a person called a mohel trained to do this sort of thing, say a few prayers, then the mohel makes a small incision on his wee-wee and he cries for a few seconds. Then, everybody eats bagels and lox and celebrates a little.”
Good luck convincing someone that that really exists. It’s really a lovely little ceremony, as this one I attended was. It has a legitimate religious significance, of course, besides the real-world importance of a circumcision.
It’s just always feels a little strange to me to be eating and drinking after a baby has his first trauma, ya know?
Anyway, thank God this mohel at my friend’s service was better than this guy.
**I love a good clever commercial. Check out this LG spot that looks pretty real.
In my old stomping grounds of Glens Falls, N.Y. (and I mean that literally:, I often had to stomp to get through all the damn snow), a fella named Joseph Ramsey, an award-winning imitator of Elvis, has been charged with welfare fraud. Seems he took $50,000 in food stamps and benefits he wasn’t entitled to, because he never reported all of his Elvis-related income.
Ya know, when you’re playing the Dubuque Holiday Inn Memorial Day show and you don’t report the $400 they paid you, that’s bound to catch up to you someday.