Daily Archives: February 29, 2012

Bill Gates, champion of America’s teachers. The wild and radical Girl Scouts, a true threat to America! Jimmy Fallon channels Eddie Vedder and Jeremy Lin

You may have heard about the kerfuffle here in New York last weekend, when several New York City newspapers printed the test score results for teachers in Grades 4-8 of 12,000 New York City schoolteachers.

Because I am in training to become one, I think it’s wise not to comment on this whole mess. Instead, I will simply point you to something written by a man 1,000 times smarter, and 1 million times wealthier, than me. This is Bill Gates, a true champion of education reform, but also of good teachers, in the New York Times last week.

Well said, Mr. Gates.

**Been meaning to post this for a few days but other things kept pushing it out of  my mind. Jimmy Fallon, who has already given us wonderful tributes/imitations of Bob Dylan doing “Charles in Charge” and a duet with Bruce Springsteen covering a Willow Smith song, now gives us Eddie Vedder, with new lyrics to “Jeremy” in honor of Knicks sensation Jeremy Lin… This is awesome.

**Finally, you know, I’ve always thought the biggest threat to our freedom and ideals were those young girls in the green and white Girl Scouts uniforms.
Finally, someone agrees with me. It’s a state senator from the great state of Indiana, Rep. Bob Morris, a Republican of Fort Wayne.
Last week ole’ Bob decided he couldn’t sign a letter congratulating all those ex-Brownies (is that still what the call the little kids before they get to be Girl Scouts?) on their 100th anniversary because he read on the Web that the Girl Scouts, you see, “are a tactical arm of Planned Parenthood, that they allow transgender females to join, ‘just like any real girl,’ and encourage sex.”

Yes, those damn Scouts are always encouraging sex. I must’ve missed it when I was buying all those Tagalongs and Thin Mints all these years, but subliminally those cookies were telling me use my Samoas to help get laid (and then of course to go out and have my concubine get an abortion)!

Even better, courtesy of my friends at Daily Kos, is an excerpt from Bob’s letters to his supporters:

“Many parents are abandoning the Girl Scouts because they promote homosexual lifestyles. In fact, the Girl Scouts education seminar girls are directed to study the example of role models. Of the fifty role models listed, only three have a briefly-mentioned religious background – all the rest are feminists, lesbians, or Communists. World Net Daily, in a May 2009 article, states that Girl Scout Troops are no longer allowed to pray or sing traditional Christmas Carols.”

Oh Bob, I really hope the Scouts of Indiana don’t find out where your office is. My guess is next time you walk to your car, you’ll be buried under an avalanche of Caramel DeLites.