Ruminating on marriage as my big day gets closer. A 7-month-old water skiier. And censorship at a high school paper: Always wrong

marriage

Rangers squeak out a 4-3 win Monday night, and I may or may not have spent the last 45 minutes of the game in the fetal position in front of the TV, clutching a pillow and shouting…

So while I was lying awake Sunday night, unable to sleep like a lot of nights, I started to really think about marriage.
Not just my impending marriage, which is less than a month away, but marriage in general, thanks to a throwaway comment made by my 8-year-old nephew last week.
My sister was explaining to him that his uncle was going to have a wedding soon, and that lots of people will be there and there’ll be food and dancing and all kinds of good stuff.

His response? “Aren’t they already married?”

He was completely serious, even though it made the grown-ups laugh. For all intents and purposes, my beautiful fiancee and I are married. We live together, we share some expenses, we spend nearly all of our free time with each other (what can I tell you, she thinks I’m fabulous and I tend to agree :)) and we attend family functions as a pair.

So to his adolescent mind, we’re just like everyone else in the grown-up world he sees, people like my mom and stepfather, and dad and stepmother.

It got me thinking a little about why we go through the whole tradition of marriage. It’s clearly not just a piece of paper; it’s hugely symbolic, which is why the fight for gay equality has been so hard-fought and passionately battled on each side.

But what’s going to change after we say our “I Do’s?” We’re not going to love each other any less, or change our lifestyle much. She’ll change her name and become Mrs. Lewis, which I’m excited by, and maybe we link bank accounts and insurance policies and all that stuff.

But really, not much is going to change. Our lives and our relationship will be “official” to the rest of the world, but like the kid said, to me, I’m already basically married.

No real conclusions were drawn in my head thinking about this, just rambling I suppose. I just wonder if maybe we put too much symbolism into marriage, when really we should be worried about if the two people who promise to love, honor and respect each other really do.

I know in my case, I’m the luckiest man in the world, because that will never, ever be an issue.

**Next up today, a 7-month-old who’s already better at waterskiing than I will ever be. I want lessons from this baby…

highschoolnewspaper

**Finally today, censorship ought to be fought wherever it’s attempted, but it’s pretty disgusting when censorship looks like this. A high school’s journalism class in San Diego was ordered shut down by the school’s principal after the school newspaper committed a cardinal sin

What hideous act had the student journalists committed? They criticized the principal, that’s what.

Student credit, and the journalism program, for the award-winning paper at La Costa Canyon High School was ended after the students questioned in print principal Kyle Ruggles’ decision to fire the school’s athletics director.

Of course Ruggles denies the article critical of him had anything to do with his decision.

Sure. And if you believe that, I’ve got a bridge in Brooklyn to sell you.

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2 responses to “Ruminating on marriage as my big day gets closer. A 7-month-old water skiier. And censorship at a high school paper: Always wrong

  1. Mark Mahoney

    I’ve been married all of 3 days after a 12-year engagement and a 10-minute ceremony. I can tell you that I didn’t understand if or how it would change our relationship. But while nothing on the surface seems to have changed, from our daily routines to the way we interact with one another, the experience has indeed made a significant difference in our lives. I can’t explain it, but we’ve both been overwhelmed by an incredible, wonderful, warm, comforting, loving feeling that wasn’t evident a few days ago. You’ll understand what I’m talking about in less than a month, my friend. Best of luck to both of you. And of course, Let’s Go Rangers!

  2. Will Springstead

    Reminds me of a passage from one of David Sedaris’ books where he makes the point that movie love stories are always about people falling in love because the already-committed have pretty mundane lives. “Oh look, they’re about to pay the electric bill!”

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