Chris Christie’s a bully? Who knew? (everyone). A 2 vs. 55 Japanese soccer game. And the peanut butter and jelly crime of the year


After about oh, two years of having an enormous man-crush on New Jersey Governor Chris Christie, it seems our good friends “the media” are finally seeing him for what he’s always been: An enormous bully.

It’s made me sick over the past two months to see my fellow Democrats, and Republicans, swoon over this guy like he’s the second coming of Abe Lincoln or something.

“Christie in ’16!” “He’s a new kind of Republican!” “He’s a straight shooter, and people love that!”

Made me want to throw up.

Lately, finally, Christie’s shine is coming off, and Wednesday brought some fresh, damaging evidence about what a bully he is: In retaliation against a Democratic mayor in Fort Lee, N.J., a Christie aide ordered two lanes of the George Washington Bridge closed in September, making traffic unpassable in Fort Lee for four days.

“Time for some traffic problems in Fort Lee,” Bridget Anne Kelly, a deputy chief of staff to Mr. Christie, emailed David Wildstein, a high school friend of the governor who worked at the Port Authority of New York and New Jersey, which runs the bridge.

Just disgusting. And so petty. I hope this makes people realize that a snake in any other clothing is still a snake.

**Say what you want about the Japanese, but they invent the most creative and bizarre contests and games of any country in the world. You’ve probably seen some insane clips in the past of Japanese game show hijinks, but I don’t know if anything is as weird as this: Two of the country’s best pro soccer players, Shinji Kagawa and Hiroshi Kiyotake, decided to play a traditional 2 vs. 55 soccer game recently.

Yep, it was two adults against 55 kids. On the same field.
Crazy. Watch this (above), it looks like a bunch of ants all attacking a dragon when one of the two pros has the ball. I also love that there were three goalies in net for the kids’ team.

Read more about this bizarre event at the site of my new freelance employer, (where next week I’ll be pimping my upcoming story about a Winter Olympian from my hometown).


**And finally today, I just don’t get to write about crime involving peanut butter and jelly sandwiches very often, so when the chance arrives, I must jump on it.

Check out this story from the Des Moines Register in Iowa, and I’m just going to quote from the lede here:

“The victim told police that his brother, Jerome Davis, “made three peanut butter and jelly sandwiches and ate them in the living room. Within the next hour, the suspect made another three of these peanut butter and jelly sandwiches, bringing his total consumption of peanut butter and jelly sandwiches to six. This angered the victim…”

“The victim confronted Davis about over-eating, which quickly escalated. “Both victim and suspect began yelling about the other being lazy and ‘eating again,’” police reported.

Davis then pulled out a folding knife and held it to the face of his brother, threatening to cut him, according to the report.”

Gentlemen, gentlemen, gentlemen. I’m sure there’s enough PB & J to go around for all of us! It’s a delicious sandwich that’s been enjoyed by schoolkids for decades, couldn’t these two brothers share a little? So Mr. Davis ate six sandwiches, whose to say that’s too much? (Though he really should consult that Shel Silverstein poem about the King and the peanut butter sandwich)

(Personal skeleton from my past: I used to eat PB &J so much that one day for a change I decided to try cream cheese and jelly. Mmmm, that’s almost as good. Try it if you don’t believe me.)


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