One of the most famous and greatest episodes of “Seinfeld” is the two-parter that guest-starred Keith Hernandez and featured a hilarious scene based on the JFK assassination and all the insane conspiracy theories that surround it.
In one part of the episode, where Hernandez is on a date with Elaine, he’s debating whether to lean in for a kiss. In his inner monologue, we hear him say “Come on, I’m KEITH HERNANDEZ!” to pump himself up.
It was a hilarious line, one the sportswriter Bill Simmons has referenced many times to note a coach or player’s complete confidence.
I thought of that line Sunday night while watching the above clip, a speech Jerry Seinfeld gave after winning a CLIO award, the top prize in advertising/commercials.
In just more than four minutes, he satirically savages the ad industry right to its face, speaking complete truth and exposing ad reps for what they are and what they do.
And they laugh right along with him, at themselves. Jerry Seinfeld has reached a point in his life where he’s bullet-proof; he can get an award from people, make fun of them viciously, and still get cheered walking away.
He’s “Jerry Seinfeld,” and he can walk into any room he wants. I think it’s a fabulous speech, and 100 percent true. Good for him.
**OK, so the New York Jets are atrocious, Rex Ryan should’ve been fired two seasons ago, and I have no interest in watching them anymore this season. I’ve also determined it will be considered child abuse by the authorities if I try to raise my infant son as a Jets fan.
Good, now that that’s out of the way, there was a whole lot of compelling football Sunday (and Saturday too, as I take a rare dive into the “amateur” ranks).
— Weren’t the Dallas Cowboys supposed to stink this season? I speak for most of America when I say I was excitedly counting on it.
— If you’re an Atlanta Falcons fan, how the hell do you figure out your team? Great one week, awful the next two. What a bizarre group to try to explain.
— How ’bout those Cleveland Browns? Another team that may not be any good, but they sure do play exciting games. Down 28-3 to the Titans, they score 26 straight and win 29-28. Seriously, the Browns are crazy-exciting, and Johnny Football hasn’t done squat yet.
— I laughed, very hard and often, at these ridiculous “rumors” and “sources” who are saying Tom Brady is miserable with the Patriots and may play somewhere else next season. The Pats destroyed the Bengals Sunday night, and the idea Brady will play in another uniform is as silly as Jeter playing for the Minnesota Twins this year. It ain’t happening.
— The Giants are clearly the best football team in New York again this year. Dammit, dammit, dammit.
— Peyton Manning, 479 yards, 4 TDs, against one of the best defenses in football. Ho hum, move along, nothing to see here.
— So, couple quick words on Saturday’s college football madness, which saw 3 of the top 8 teams lose: 1, Nick Saban cannot lose enough for me, as he stands out as a Calipari-ian a-hole even among college football coaches; 2., I think I’d like to see a game in Oxford, Miss. one day, looks gorgeous on TV; 3. This four-team playoff at the end of the year is going to cause just as many arguments as the BCS did, because everyone will have lost at least once. But the playoff will be oodles of fun.
**And finally today, proof that hotels will stop at nothing to charge, or over-charge its guests.
Marriott was recently fined $600,000 by the FCC for intentionally jamming the wi-fi signals of conference attendees so they could force the guests to pay up to $1,000 for Marriott’s own network at the hotel.
I mean … how disgusting is that? That fine should be distributed to all who had to fork over the extortion money.