The craziest way to avoid airline baggage fees you’ve ever heard. Baby poop faces, in glorious slow motion. And the mascot who pretended to bite a woman gets sued

boyband.luggage
We begin today with the tale of a man who really, really hates paying baggage fees while flying.

I mean, we all hate them. But I doubt many of us would go to the extremes that this boy band singer from Scotland went to the other day.

I mean, if this isn’t in the stupid Hall of Fame, it’s at least getting a nomination.
James McElvar, 19, is in the Scottish boy band Rewind. He was checking in for a flight and was told he had too many bags, and that he’d have to pay a 45 Euro fee to check one of his bags.

Adamant that he would not do this, no sir, he threw 12 layers of clothes on the counter. He then proceeded to put on six T-shirts, five sweaters, three pairs of jeans, two layers of jogging pants, two jackets and two hats, thereby emptying one bag.

He then got on the plane. And passed out.

Lucky for this moron, an off-duty paramedic dressed in a normal amount of clothing was also on the flight and treated him, and he’s apparently fine now. Seriously, I hope all the rest of the passengers on the plane mocked him mercilessly.

I bet Justin Bieber doesn’t have these problems… what an idiot.

**Next up, this was hilarious to me, and probably will be to you if you’ve ever had kids.
Pampers has decided to make a slow-motion commercial, set to the famous “Thus Spake Zarathrusta” classical music piece, of the different faces babies make during pooping.

Even accepting that everything seems cooler in slo-mo (that’s why NFL Films videos are so popular), this video is awesome.

Marlins.mascot

**Finally today, I haven’t written about Adventures in Sports Mascots in a while, not because there haven’t been stories there but because dammit, I’m not looking hard enough to find them!

But I heard about this on “Wait Wait, Don’t Tell Me” this week and I think it’s fabulous, and utterly ridiculous. A Florida woman is suing the Miami Marlins for unspecified damages after experiencing “trauma” at a 2013 game.

Seems Bob the Shark (above), the Marlins’ mascot (why the Marlins mascot isn’t a, you know, MARLIN is unclear) was playing around with some fans when he pretended to eat the head of Beth Fedornak.

Seems funny and harmless enough, right? But poor Bob the Shark is being sued for causing head and neck injuries to the tune of $86,000 to Fedornak.

I’m not going to flat out say this is a bogus lawsuit, but come on now. A mascot pretends to “bite” off a woman’s head, and she gets head trauma? Sounds very unlikely to me. Look at Bob’s head, for goodness sakes.

Poor Bob. Maybe from now on he should stick to just eating chum. Or, you know, the Tampa Bay Rays. I hear they’re tasty.

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