Inside the mind of Hillary Clinton on Iowa caucus day. A hilarious, banned beer commercial. And thoughts on twins

23 Mar 2015, Washington, DC, USA --- Former U.S. Secretary of State Hillary Clinton takes part in a Center for American Progress roundtable discussion on "Expanding Opportunities in America's Urban Areas" in Washington. --- Image by © Brooks Kraft/Corbis

Permit me, dear readers, to bring you inside the cranium of Hillary Rodham Clinton for a few minutes, as today’s Iowa caucuses prepare to help decide who will be the next President. (And don’t get me started on how ridiculous these caucuses are, and how unrepresentative they are of actual voters. Here’s a good primer on how tonight will all work.)

For a few minutes now, let’s say you’re Hillary Clinton. You have endured a lot over the past 25 years. Your husband pulled off a remarkable comeback win in 1992 to win the Presidency, but you and he were dragged through the mud thanks to his philandering and abhorrent treatment of women.

You get to be First Lady for eight years, you survive scandal after scandal (mostly about him, but a few about you), and you’re pretty darn popular by 2000 thanks to his awful behavior and lies during the Monica Lewinsky affair.

You move to New York, run for Senate, and after some early doubts and mocking of your qualifications, you turn out to be a pretty darn good Senator. After George W. Bush is somehow re-elected in 2004, you see an opening. You enter the 2008 Presidential race as an overwhelming favorite. You’ve got millions upon millions of fans, oodles of cash, many of the best political minds in the country working for you. This thing is in the bag; you’re going to be the next President.

Then a little-known first-term Senator, an African-American with a funny name and big ears, decides to get in the race and absolutely takes the country by storm. You scratch and claw and fight with him, overcome an enormous number of mistakes, and come oh-so-close to winning the nomination that you still can’t believe someone else got.

But OK, that was a once in a lifetime kind of phenomenon, this Obama guy. So you suck it up, and you become Secretary of State under him. You do a solid job, once again overcome some scandals, and once word leaks out that you’re running for President yet again, nearly every prominent Democrat in the country steps aside. No Joe Biden, no Julian Castro, no Andrew Cuomo, no Cory Booker.

Yep, the field is cleared. You raise a ton of money, hire all the best people again, vow that THIS TIME you’re not going to make the same mistakes…

And now you sit here on Feb. 1, and you’re fighting tooth and nail for this nomination that was supposed to be in the bag with a 74-year-old radical socialist from a tiny state with wild hair who screams and shouts and no one ever heard of until six months ago?

Democratic presidential candidate Sen. Bernie Sanders, I-Vt., begins to speak at a rally Saturday, Aug. 8, 2015, in downtown Seattle. Co-founders of the Seattle chapter of Black Lives Matter took over the microphone shortly after Sanders began to speak and refused to relinquish it. Sanders eventually left the stage without speaking further and instead waded into the crowd to greet supporters. (AP Photo/Elaine Thompson)

THIS GUY, this guy who wasn’t even a Democrat until a year or two ago, a guy who has been laughed at and marginalized by the media and the GOP, a guy who even his supporters acknowledge would have a hell of a time winning a general election… this guy is going to maybe beat you today and in New Hampshire next week, giving the media a chance to run all those 2008 headlines again about how you’re blowing it???

I mean… I’m just saying, she’s gotta have some moments where she’s wondering “Really? This is really happening again? Can’t I get a freaking break???

Tonight should be fun to watch.

Next up, I’m not much of a beer drinker and I think 99 percent of beer commercials are stupid, filled with ridiculous stereotypes of men and women.

But every once in a while, one comes along that’s really funny and clever. Loyal reader Sanford sent me this the other day, a Bud Lite ad that I’d never seen (and that’s apparently a few years old), and I laughed pretty hard.

NEW YORK - NOVEMBER 6: NFL players Tiki (L) and Ronde (R) Barber sign their new book "Kickoff!" at FAO Schwarz on November 6, 2007 in New York City. (Photo by Amy Sussman/Getty Images)

**Finally today, had a wonderful weekend down in Princeton, New Jersey, visiting some close friends who have identical twin sons, now 10.

They’re great boys, really polite, well-mannered, smart, as well-behaved as you could ask for.

What I found fascinating this weekend, and knowing them since they were 6, is how they’re starting to become different people. We’ve got a couple sets of twins in my family, but they’re both boy/girl twins, so it was pretty obvious how different they were.

But these two used to be exactly alike, and now, you can tell them apart by how they act pretty easily. One was much more interested in our baby son; one loves video games more. One was totally fine when their mom said she was going to leave them alone for a few minutes for the first time; the other one wasn’t ready for it.

I noticed a bunch of little differences like that; I would imagine their parents have noticed them for a while. I wonder at what age twins really start becoming their own separate people; it must be incredibly interesting to watch it every day.


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