Six years ago, my mother told me Bernie Sanders should run for President, and that he would win.
I love my mother more than anything. She’s a wonderful, huge-hearted woman who is as bleeding-heart liberal as they come, and she truly doesn’t understand why everyone doesn’t feel the same way she does about things.
So, given that she gave me life and everything, I gently patted her on the head, laughed pretty hard, and sweetly and patronizingly said “Mom, that’s completely nuts. Never could happen. Only in your wildest dreams.”
Well now … I’ve decided, six years later, that my mother might be the female Jewish Karl Rove, or at least, the James Carville of the Whole Foods crowd.
She saw what no one else did, or at least, what no one else would admit publicly.
A 74-year-old Jewish man from Brooklyn (L’chaim!) won a resounding 22-point point victory over Hillary Clinton Tuesday night in the New Hampshire primary. And even though it’s looked for weeks like Bernie would win, and win big, this is still yuuuge news. (Here’s his victory speech from Tuesday night.)
He’s now tied one state and won another, an incredible underdog suddenly scaring the bejeezus out of the Clinton machine. I just kept smiling during his victory speech Tuesday, because of what the great Rachel Maddow verbalized right after Sanders finished: We liberals have NEVER had a serious Presidential candidate say these things on a national stage, and it’s glorious to behold.
I know, I know. It still seems kinda impossible that Bernie can beat Hillary, and then win a general. But then you see, seconds after Bernie finished his victory speech, a complete sexist, racist gasbag who has no bleeping idea what he’s saying get up on stage after his yuuge primary win, and you think: If it’s Bernie vs. Trump, really, Bernie couldn’t win that?
Dare to dream, folks. Dare to dream. Tuesday night was a wonderful night.
Couple other thoughts from Tuesday night…
— Hillary Clinton’s concession speech was fabulous. She sounded like a true firebrand liberal. And if Bernie has done nothing else over the past six months, he’s forced her far to the left, which is a good, good thing for America. Since she’ll probably be our next President.
— I can’t wait to see some new South Carolina polling numbers following tonight’s win. Methinks it’ll be pretty damn close.
— Congrats, John Kasich, on coming in 2nd! Sadly I think this is the last we’ll hear from him. He’s way too reasonable to win.
— So much for that “Marco-mentum, huh?” Chris Christie really destroyed Rubio in the debate last Saturday, and Marco may never recover.
— There is not one genuine bone in Trump’s body. Not one. I listened to his victory speech and it was just so obnoxious. I will never, ever understand how this man could be so worshipped by so many. He makes Dick Cheney look uncertain.
**Next up, as I wrote on Monday, this year’s Super Bowl commercials were pretty lame. Very few memorable ones.
Not like the magical Cindy Crawford Pepsi ad from 1992, which was pretty huge for 16-year-old me at the time, since I, like millions of other red-blooded American males, positively worshipped the ground Cindy walked on (I had several Cindy posters in my room, as did most of my friends).
Well, James Corden and the still insansely-pretty Cindy did a great “update” spoof of the commercial recently, and it’s hilarious.
**Finally today, this might be the craziest story I ever heard (except, you know, Donald Trump maybe being President.). An Australian woman confronted her husband at her own funeral.
He’d paid men to kidnap and kill her, they took his money, but decided not to murder her. They told him they’d done it, he planned a funeral, than in the parking lot on the way out, she scared the hell out of him.
He eventually confessed, and just got sentenced to nine years in prison.
I’m nowhere near close to doing this story justice, though. Read it, and then go hug your spouse and be very, very glad they’re not as crazy as this guy.