You might not think there are many things a toddler and your drunk friend have in common.
Oh sure, they both drool occasionally, have trouble verbalizing their wants, and sometimes you just wish they’d fall down and go to sleep.
But did you know there are 30 things you can say to both of them and they would apply equally?
Meredith Masony of the blog “That’s Inappropriate” came up with this hilarious and brilliant list. Some of my favorites…
— We need to use our “inside” voice.
— Yes, those are boobies, but we don’t touch those.
— I am not playing that song again. We have heard it 15 times. Put on your pants.
— Please hold my hand in the parking lot. I don’t want you to get hit by a car.
— I told you to sit here. Why did you leave? You have to tell me when you’re going somewhere.
Seriously, all of these are great. Now if you’ll excuse me, I need to go get my toddler drunk.
**Next up today, the second season of the fantastic podcast “Serial” just ended with the release of the final episode Thursday, and while many people (myself included) have said Season 2 wasn’t quite as compelling or thrilling as season 1, it was still pretty damn good.
This season, if you’ve been listening (and if you haven’t, the next few hundred words won’t make much sense to you ), the “Serial” team dug deep into the well-known story of U.S. soldier Bowe Bergdahl, who wandered off his base in Afghanistan in 2009, was captured and held and tortured by the Taliban for five years, before being rescued in a controversial 5-for-1 prisoner swap, where five Guantanamo Bay detainees were traded for Bergdahl.
At first, he was lauded as an American hero, but after a few days and a Rose Garden ceremony at the White House, his former mates had had enough, and pushed back with the truth.
One of the fantastic things “Serial” did this season is tell us so much about the inner workings of the search for Bergdahl; it’s incredible how many thousands of soldiers across many different areas were looking for him, and you really get to understand why these guys were so pissed that they were risking their lives for a guy who did something that, in their mind, was so monumentally stupid and reckless.
I loved how “Serial” used filmmaker Mark Boal’s interviews with Bergdahl to really give us a portrait of what he was thinking, and why he did what he did. They also offer pretty substantial evidence that Bergdahl never should have been allowed into the Army in the first place, given his psychological makeup and his experience at Coast Guard boot camp.
I found myself, much like during Season 1, going back and forth with my sympathies, but this was an easier call: Bergdahl was no hero. He was a troubled kid who had difficulty with the Army’s authority, and in the heat of some bad moments, decided to do something very, very stupid. As 20-year-olds do all the time.
I loved this season of “Serial,” for the balanced portrait it gave us on all sides. If you haven’t listened yet, the whole season is now on iTunes. It’s fantastic. Truly compelling, well-done journalism.
**Finally today, tonight is a wonderful night and a sad night for college basketball fanatics like me. It’s wonderful because it’s time for the national championship game, and unlike the two snoozers of semifinals on Saturday, I think this will be a terrific matchup. Villanova is playing out of its mind right now, and so is North Carolina, and we’ve got a fabulous strength vs. strength battle of great defense (Nova) against great offense (UNC).
So it’ll hopefully be a close, tense game, followed by the greatest montage of every year, “One Shining Moment.” (Had to put last year’s up there; tonight could be a rough one for Duke fans like me, so we’ve got to enjoy something today. Ah, Jahlil Okafor, happier times!)
But it’s also a sad night because it means the college basketball season is over. Always get a little bummed Tuesday when I think about that.
Hoping tonight’s a great one. I’m picking Villanova, 71-67, and Rollie Massimino storming the court in celebration.