Let me start today’s blog with a question: Is there anything that could happen at the Republican National Convention this week in Cleveland that would truly surprise you?
I mean, honestly, what would make your jaw drop? Donald J. Trump announcing that this has all been a ruse, a reality show, and he doesn’t really want to be President? I wouldn’t be stunned.
A group of old-school Republicans from back in the day storming the podium and asking “Seriously? You actually want THIS man representing the party in this election? This clown who doesn’t know shit about anything, insults everyone and everything in his path, and can be trusted as much as three-card-monte player in Times Square?
Or how about a scenario in which new vice-presidential nominee Mike Pence, who was barely mentioned by Donald Trump in the bizarre introductory press conference on Saturday, is tackled by Chris Christie and Newt Gingrich on stage, with each of them saying they deserve to be VP instead, and not leaving until Trump changes his mind?
None of that would stun me. Folks, Scott freaking Baio is speaking this week, and if he gets on stage and says “Hey, Charles is BACK in charge!” and puts his name into nomination, I’d barely bat an eye.
Honestly, I have no idea what’s going to happen. This whole Republican primary season has been one shitshow after another, and the weekend’s “events,” with the vulgar, talking yam (That’s Charlie Pierce’s beautiful name for the Donald) using his intro of Pence on Saturday as a yet another masturbatory exercise in self-love, and Sunday night on “60 Minutes” barely letting Pence get a word in edge-wise (sparking the fantastic Photoshop someone on Twitter did, above).
It is now, and will forever be a stain on our country, that this man was actually nominated by one of our two major parties. I am still 95 percent confident he will lose, and he might just go up in flames this week.
It’s a disgrace that he has fooled so many millions. But this week should be damn entertaining. Pass the popcorn and the Junior Mints, please…
**Next up today, this made me laugh harder each time I watched it, and I watched it three times in a row.
Two-year-old Charlie Magilavy of Ohio has become obsessed with the awesome training montage near the end of “Rocky II” (for my money, the best montage in ANY Rocky movie ever), so much so that the toddler acts out, along with Rocky, every move of the montage.
I absolutely thought this video was fake, until I read this story about it. My boy is almost 2, and there’s no way he could pull this off (partly because he’s not allowed to watch TV or movies yet).
Bravo, Charlie. Bravo. Now if we could just find a 2-year-old to play Apollo Creed…
**Finally today, I was going to write a few hundred words about the awful killing of three policemen in Baton Rouge, Sunday. But quite honestly, there’s been so much awful news lately that I just didn’t have it in me, not after having a wonderful day with my family.
So happily, I found out that old blog favorite and hockey superstar P.K. Subban had done something cool already in his new home city of Nashville. Subban, just stupidly traded from the Montreal Canadiens, went to legendary bar Tootsie’s in Nashville and belted out an adequate rendition of the classic Johnny Cash song “Folsom Prison Blues.”
This guy is so much damn fun. You know how huge he’d be if he came to my Rangers and entertained in the big city? (Dare to dream.)