Cubs-Indians Game 7 tonight, whoo-hoo! The company that lets you turn your relative’s ashes into dinnerware. And the parrot who revealed a husband’s affair

ct-cubs-force-series-game-7-spt-1102-20161101

Two words: Game 7. Two more words: World Series.
Two more words: Cubs-Indians.

Yep, I’m thinking there’s not going to be a lot of office productivity in Chicago and Cleveland tomorrow. In fact, those two cities might as well just call tomorrow a municipal holiday or something, tell everyone to stay home and just stare at the clock until 8 p.m. Eastern.

That’s because last night the Chicago Cubs, trying to win the World Series for the first time since Teddy Roosevelt was President (he’s one of the dudes on Mt. Rushmore, if you forgot), beat the Cleveland Indians, 9-3, in Game 6 to force one final game in this baseball season.

It’s November, and they’re still playing the summer game. Roger Angell, who at 96 is still amazing, wrote that he’s enjoying this series so much he wants it to be best 8 out of 15. I’d sign for that. They’re still playing because the Indians, bless their plucky hearts, are basically down to one starting pitcher, but lucky for them he’s pitching tonight (for the 3rd time in 9 days!!!).

The Cubs offense has come alive, they have better talent overall. The Indians are at home, can watch the movie “Major League” to get fired up (Roger Dorn must throw out the first pitch for Game 7! OK, or LeBron…), and must realize that all their fans who were making jokes about the Warriors blowing a 3-1 lead in a championship series will no longer find it so funny if the Tribe lose tonight.

Atmosphere will be electric. The hours will slog by today, for all sports fans.

Game 7. Tonight. God I love sports.

relativecremation

**Next up today, I can’t really believe someone thought this was a good idea, but I also could totally believe people out there will pay money for this.

A company called Chronicle Cremation Designs has created a way for people grieving the loss of loved ones to keep them around. In the cupboard.

Chronicle offers an array of dishware infused with the cremated remains of loved ones. You send them the ashes, they send you a grandma mug or bowl that’s ready to use and is dishwasher safe.

Really, this is a thing.

Justin Crowe, based in Santa Fe, New Mexico, mixes cremated human ashes into a glaze which he uses to coat bowls, vases, candle holders, coffee cups, urns and other ceramic items. Once they’ve been fired in a kiln, the glaze becomes food- and drink-safe.

Is this really something anyone really wanted? To eat blueberry pie off of Uncle Chester, and drink some late-night tea in a glass of Grandma Beatrice? The whole thing strikes me as creepy.

But hey, as they said on “Wait Wait Don’t Tell Me,” your aunt never could hold her liquor, but now she can!

parrot-adultery

**Finally today, this is one of the best stories regarding a parrot and a cheating husband you’ll ever see.

A woman in Kuwait thought her husband was fooling around on her, but had no proof. That’s until the couple’s pet parrot spilled the beans (or spilled the birdseed, if you will).

Adultery is illegal in Kuwait, and according to the The Daily Mail,  the woman who suspected her husband of cheating with their maid marched their pet parrot to police after it began spouting saucy lines she knew hadn’t been said to her.

She believed the parrot had exposed her husband’s secret trysts.

The woman took the parrot to police and filed an adultery complaint against her partner.

But, (and this is my favorite part), the authorities ruled the parrot’s evidence was inadmissible because it was impossible to determine where the bird had heard it. (Take that, “Law and Order!” Finally something you’ve never done an episode on.)

The Kuwaiti police argued he could have picked up the scandalous lines from television or a radio show.

In the strict Muslim country of Kuwait adultery is illegal and people found guilty of having affairs are subject to severe punishment.

Sounds like this guy needs to have a talk with his parrot. “What, ‘Polly want a cracker’ was too boring for you? I fed you caviar and let you watch HBO while my girlfriend was over, and THIS is how you repay me???”

Read more: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-3874298/Parrot-squawking-saucy-words-exposes-man-s-affair-housemaid-wife-marches-bird-police-station-demanding-justice.html#ixzz4OojypYeV
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One response to “Cubs-Indians Game 7 tonight, whoo-hoo! The company that lets you turn your relative’s ashes into dinnerware. And the parrot who revealed a husband’s affair

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