Daily Archives: March 27, 2019

Thoughts on the Mueller Report: After 2 years, let’s see what’s IN it. The NHL’s Hurricanes continue to wow with unique celebrations. And the guy who tried to kill a cockroach by throwing a gun at it.

It’s finally here. After two years, 37 indictments, 199 charges and more breathless speculation than any government document since, well, maybe ever, last weekend the Mueller Report was finally turned in, and for the last few days we’ve been waiting for Attorney General William Barr to release it.

I have a very sinking feeling we’re going to be waiting a long time. And that’s a disgrace.

All we’ve heard for years from our current Buffoon-in-Chief was how awful and horrible this Mueller probe was, and what a bunch of crooked Democrats were running it, and it’s awful, disgraceful, disgusting, no collusion, no obstruction, nothing of any sort.

And now, now that Mueller’s report allegedly says that there as no Russian collusion by or on behalf of Trump, but there may have been obstruction of justice, Trump and his stoolies don’t want the report to be made public?

Bullshit. First of all, and this should be obvious: All we know so far about what’s in the report comes from Barr, who was just installed last month and is on record being a very big Trump loyalist and harsh critic of the Mueller probe. I trust him as far as I can throw him.

Second of all, even what little has come out about the report seems colored by Barr’s bias. It is HE that says there was not enough evidence to charge Trump on obstruction of justice; that’s not at all necessarily what Mueller found.

And finally, hey Trumpers: If this report is such a slam-dunk win for your wonderful President, why wouldn’t you want everyone to see it? Wouldn’t you want the whole country, the whole world, to read every word of it, if it truly says that your man is innocent, and this whole thing was a bunch of malarkey?

What have you got to hide?

There is so, so much more to be learned about this report that has consumed American politics for two years, and it’s a travesty if we don’t get to see the whole thing. Every Senator and Congressman ought to be demanding the full report be released; just a small summary of findings by an AG who was confirmed just a few weeks ago is not anywhere near sufficient.

Release the whole report. Let’s see the damn thing, we’ve waited long enough for it.

–So it’s late March and hockey season is winding down and while my Rangers are far, far removed from the upcoming playoffs, there’s one team I’m absolutely hoping reaches the postseason: The Carolina Hurricanes, owners of the most creative, awesome and fun victory celebrations in all of sports.

For this entire season, when the Hurricanes win at home, they’ve punctuated the victory with totally-different, off-the-wall celebrations. They’ve played Quidditch, they’ve pretended to compete in the old Nintendo game “Duck Hunt,” and have had so much fun doing other celebrations that old fuddy-duddies in hockey hate them, which of course means they’re doing something right. Here are a couple of their recent celebrations: Above, the team playing “Duck, Duck, Goose”, and below, a March Madness-themed game.

I love these so much. Here’s a story ranking their 20 best cellys, with videos linking to them.

** And finally today, some bizarre stories just leap out at me and demand to be put in the blog, so I can share it with you fine people. This, my friends, is one of those stories.

Meet the unnamed 50-year-old Michigan man in this story. So the fella, who is in a wheelchair, sees a cockroach in his house and wants to kill it. Like most of us, he’s freaked out and wants to kill it as soon as possible (When I lived in Florida, I killed dozens of cockroaches in my apartment, because they’re everywhere. It’s rarely fun to have them as roommates).

Unlike most of us, though, this fella decides to throw a gun at the cockroach to try to kill it. Well, more accurately, he said he threw a shoe at the roach, and there was a gun inside the shoe (Why someone would be hiding a firearm in their shoe, is a question I really would like to explore further. But that’s for another blog post).

When the man threw the shoe at the roach, the gun went off and shot the man in the foot.

He’s apparently recovering from his wounds. My sides, though, may never recover from laughing upon hearing this story.

Somebody please get this man a can of RAID, pronto!

Some people really are just too stupid for words.