Tag Archives: Ivan Drago

Boy, is Russia pissed about the Olympics. And a football player robs his coach

You thought the political leaders in Russia were pissed when Rocky Balboa beat Ivan Drago at the end of “Rocky IV?” Well, you ain’t seen nothing yet.

In a verbal smackdown heard ’round the world, Russian president/puppet of Putin Dmitry Medvedev was seriously pissed off, and not afraid to say so, about his country’s pathetic 11th-place showing in medals won at the Vancouver Olympics.

“Those responsible should take the brave decision and sign a letter (of resignation),” Medvedev said in televised comments. “If they can’t we will help them.”

Then, my man Dmitry admitted failure some more.

“For a long time we have benefited from Soviet achievements. At some point they ran out. We have lost the Soviet sports school, it is simply gone, but we have not formed our own system,” Medvedev said.

You know, it can’t be easy for the Russian people. Twenty years ago, they were on top of the world, going toe-to-toe with the Americans in sports. Now, they whine like that Pluschenko dude when they don’t win a figure skating medal. Look, it’s hard to win Olympic medals, and of course these Russian athletes of today aren’t able to dominate like the old U.S.S.R. used to (ah, how I miss those “CCCP” letters on Russian uniforms).

Still, I loved the quote from Supreme Ruler Vladimir Putin when he was asked about his country’s failures at the Olympics.

“Of course we expected more from our team,” Putin said, while the games were nearing their close on Friday. “But that’s not cause to throw up our hands, wear a sackcloth and ashes or beat ourselves with chains.”

Um, sure Vladimir. Don’t beat yourself with chains. The sackcloth look might work for you, though.

**One final Olympics thought: The Canadian TV ratings are in, and 80 percent of the country watched at least some of the gold medal hockey game between the U.S. and Canada. EIGHTY PERCENT! That’s an insane amount of people. Just shows you how incredibly important winning the gold was to our northern friends.

**I thought I was immune to shock when it came to stories about college football players committing crimes. But this one made my jaw drop.

A quarterback at The Citadel, the military academy in Virginia, was arrested for kidnapping, armed robbery and first degree burglary.

His victim? A Citadel assistant coach.

The details of the story can be read here. I’m just blown away by this; apparently the kid had two accomplices, both former players at the school. Of all places for this to happen, it happens at the Citadel, which is an incredibly strict and forbidding place?

Crazy stuff. By the way, for a truly outstanding piece of writing, here’s Rick Reilly’s classic 1992 story about The Citadel. He takes you inside the place beautifully, and terrifyingly.

Billionaire Russian is buying the Nets. Is this good or bad? And a fun stat about health care and UFOs

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So I realize I’m a few days late on this, but my favorite NBA team is apparently being bought by the richest guy in Russia.

Mikhail Prokhorov, who apparently has a net worth of $9.5 billion (that’s about what I think I’m worth,

by the way, not that anyone will confirm it), has reached a deal to buy the New Jersey Nets. And yes, the “Nyets” joke has already been made plenty of times.

This seems to have come out of nowhere, and on the surface seems great for everyone: Struggling Nets owner Bruce Ratner gets cash for his new arena in Brooklyn (which, I’m starting to think, will get built as soon as the stuff in “The Jetsons” is real), NBA commish David Stern gets a foreign owner with a lot of cash in his league, and us Nets fans get to keep dreaming that LeBron James will come to the team next year.

Of course, I’m brimming with questions: Will borscht be served at the concession stand? Is there a chance that instead of throwback jerseys, the Nets could wear those cool-looking “U.S.S.R” shirts the Soviets used to wear? Will the owner threaten to send a misbehaving player to Siberia, and you know, mean it?

And could we get Dolph Lundgren to come out to the opener and re-enact his “Rocky IV” scenes? “If he dies, he dies.” Man that guy shoulda won an Oscar.

And would LeBron James even want to play for a Russian dude?

All things that will be known in due time. Heck, I don’t even know if this guy will pass inspection from the other NBA owners, who are kind of picky about who they let in to their club.

I truly have no idea how this thing will play out. But at the very least, my Nets will be interesting off the court this season.

ufo

In my continuing attempt to find humor in the health care debate…

**OK, so usually I ignore the 5,426 emails I get per week from Moveon.org. I love them, love that they’re pushing liberal causes, but man, do they send a lot of emails.

But this one I had to read, and I’m glad I did. Apparently, according to media watchdog site mediamatters.org, a recent N.Y. Times/CBS News poll showed that only 26 percent of Americans opposed a public option for the new health care plan.

A 2007 Associated Press/Ipsos poll found that 34 percent of Americans believe in UFOs.

So basically, more people believe in unidentified flying objects than oppose the health care plan. And yet this is apparently a raging debate in Congress.

Which just proves my point: There’s a ton of bat-shit crazy people in America.