The U. of Miami is completely screwed. The guy who drove into a Waffle house, literally. And learning to love Louie C.K.

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It’s pretty hard for me, as a jaded ex-sportswriter who knows how dirty and corrupt college sports really are, to be surprised by any new scandal.
The Reggie Bush-USC thing? Didn’t bat an eye. The Ohio State-Jim Tressel stuff? Yep, pretty much what I expected.
But Tuesday night Yahoo! Sports unveiled the fruits of an 11-month investigation into the University of Miami and one incredibly dirty booster named Nevin Shapiro.
And good God almighty, I cannot believe how explosive this story is. I mean, my jaw was dropping reading this.
Not so much out of shock, but of how blatant and out in the open this was, for EIGHT years at Miami, and nothing was ever done about it. (And the “Teddy Dupay” stuff is beyond hilarious).
Take a few minutes and start reading this; I guarantee it’ll be the most entertaining story you read all month.
Someone from The Sporting News said on Twitter Tuesday night said “this could end the NCAA as we know it.”
To which I say: It’s about time.

**I don’t know why stories like this interest me so, but they do.
A man in Florida (of course) who was really mad at his wife tried to run her over, but instead drove straight through the window of a Panama City Beach Waffle House restaurant.
Thankfully, this moron, Charles Patrick O’Bryan, didn’t kill anybody or give anyone life-threatening injuries.
What kind of a sick, deranged person goes off to hit another person with a car, and then drives through a restaurant window?

**I know I’m late to the party here, but I’m starting to finally get why so many people worship the comedian Louis C.K.

For years I heard stories about how awesome he was, and I saw some of his stand-up, and I was lust like, meh. But then I thought he was great on that HBO “Talking Funny” special, and I saw a few of his funny clips on talk shows. Finally, after reading so many raves about his current show on FX, “Louie,” I decided to start watching.
And I gotta say, it’s pretty damn funny. And very unlike 99 percent of current TV shows, in its format and pacing. He’s not for everybody’s tastes, Louie C.K., but if you’re smart and give him a shot, you can see how talented he is.

Instead of a clip from his current show, here’s something that I think showcases him really well. Here’s the first thing I ever saw Louie in, and it still might be the funniest few minutes he’s ever done. It’s from the first HBO show he was in called “Lucky Louie.” He sits with his daughter trying to explain the world to her.

Ohio State throws out a liar. A fabulous front page. And the ultimate beauty pageant irony

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How long does it take a liar and a cheat to get himself fired?
Quite a long time, if you’re a very successful college football coach. It takes months and months of revelations and lies, cover-ups and pleas of ignorance, until finally, finally, finally, the evidence becomes overwhelming.
The scandal becomes too great, and even your die-hard supporters in the administration abandon you.

Yep, Ohio State football coach Jim Tressel finally resigned on Monday, a good six months after revelations of his cheating ways started surfacing. It looked even after Tressel was found to have lied to the NCAA, and to his school, and to everyone else, that he’d get to keep his job.
But then Sports Illustrated released the details of its investigation Monday, with new sordid allegations about players driving cars that weren’t theirs, sordid stories of players selling memorabilia for tattoos and weed, and other fun stuff.

And so Tressel, even though he wins 11 games a year and contends for a national title at one of the most football-obsessed schools in America, had to go. I’m quite frankly surprised he was forced out; I thought at Ohio State you could basically get away with everything but murder if you beat the boys from Ann Arbor every year.

Good riddance to Tressel, and the corrupt Ohio St. program. Of course there are plenty of other cheaters yet to be caught, but it is nice to know that every once in a great while in life, there are consequences to actions.

**There were a lot of great Memorial Day tributes in newspapers across America Monday; it’s one of the things newspapers still do so well, the heart-tugging story about brave soldiers who died too young.
But I thought this front page from the Newark (N.J.) Star-Ledger was just beautiful.

**Finally, I love this story. Laurel Gordon is a senior at Elma High School in Elma, Wash. For the past two years Laurel has been Grays Harbor County’s  Dairy Ambassador (a darn cool title for a beauty pageant-type deal) and is now a contestant for the state dairy ambassador title in next month’s competition.

Which would be quite an honor. Only one thing: Laurel is lactose-intolerant.
Yep, the high priestess of dairy in Elms, Wash. can’t stomach the stuff! Someone please contact the Dept. of Irony and tell them we have an emergency.

As a fellow lactose-intolerant person (I have no patience for lactose, nor does my stomach), I feel your pain, Laurel. Glad to know you can still sing the praises of dairy!