On this morning after another miserable New York Jets season has ended, permit me a few words about the sure-to-be fired Rex Ryan, a coach unlike any I’ve ever seen stroll the sidelines for the Green and White.
Ah, Rex. You came in breathing fire back in 2009, talking about meeting the new President one day (as in, we’ll win the Super Bowl and be invited to the White House) and charming the press. Then, incredibly, thanks to a series of lucky breaks and other teams losing, you led the Jets to the playoffs, before staging two fantastic wins to get to the AFC Championship game.
Then the next year, you did it again. The Jets whipped the Pats in the playoffs and came oh-so-close to beating the Steelers to go to the Super Bowl, and now the team I bleed for had made 2 straight title games and had a coach ready to become a legend.
Then … it all went to shit, pardon the expression. The quarterback regressed, the defense got old, the offensive line collapsed, the star receiver became an even bigger diva, and the coach, well, it turns out he was awesome at motivation, awesome at designing defensive schemes, and so awesome at anything else.
The man was a terrible, terrible game-coach. Truly awful. For six years Rex Ryan ran a disorganized sideline; no one wasted more timeouts, or was called for too many men on the field penalties, than the Jets.
And nobody talks about this, but Rex for most of his career as Jets coach had a major say in the draft, and he didn’t excel at picking players, at all. He fell in love with Sanchez, who wasn’t all that great, and 1st-round defensive picks like Kyle Wilson and Quinton Coples have been busts.
The man deserved to be fired two years ago, and wasn’t because the owner loves him. He deserved to be fired last year, and wasn’t. And he most certainly deserves to be fired this year, and finally, mercifully, will.
I have heard over the past few weeks many broadcasters and media members say Rex deserves to stay, he’s a great coach, etc. And I wonder: Have these people been watching the Jets? Because if they were, they’d see a coach long past his expiration date.
I feel bad it didn’t work out because I’m a fan and Rex is great fun in press conferences. But after those first two magical years, he’s been awful. And he’s stayed far too long.
Now, to paraphrase his greatest-ever quote, I’m going to go eat a goddamn snack.
**Next up, the good folks at Jib Jab have put together their as-usual awesome video parodying the year that was.
Here’s 2014 in a two-minute nutshell; I laughed out loud at least twice.
**And finally, the legendary newspaper comedian Dave Barry has come out with his “review” of 2014, and it’s the funniest thing I’ve read all year. A few excerpts of his brilliance in this piece:
— On a happier note, Colorado announces that it has already collected marijuana sales taxes totaling $2million, which the state plans to spend on “a subwoofer the size of Delaware.”
— In an aviation miracle, a 15-year-old boy sneaks into the landing-gear compartment of a Hawaiian Airlines Boeing 767 and somehow survives a five-hour flight from San Jose to Maui. Hours later major U.S. airlines jointly announce that they are offering “an exciting new seating option for budget-minder flyers who enjoy fresh air.”
— In government news, the troubled Secret Service once again comes under withering criticism when an intruder is able to jump the White House fence, enter the White House through the front door, overpower a Secret Service agent, run through the Central Hall, enter the East Room, deliver a nationwide radio address and appoint four federal judges before being overpowered. In a congressional hearing probing the incident, the Secret Service director promises to improve White House security but suggests that in the meantime the First Family should “consider adopting a larger dog.”
Dave Barry’s the best.