Tag Archives: Matthew Clark

The joy of rooting against Tiger Woods. The reasoning of a 2-year-old. And people in bathing suits in public: Look in the mirror!


Check out this fantastic photo of lower Manhattan getting awfully close to a lightning strike. The picture was taken by Anthony Quintano of NBC News.

I am about to break one of my few rules for myself on this blog: Never write about golf.
I hate golf, loathe it, despite its very existence, and frankly don’t consider it a sport.
But that’s just me.
Anyway, one thing that has intrigued me when I do pay attention to what’s going on in golf the last few years is how desperately the media seems to be rooting for Tiger Woods to be back to his old self.

Ever since ole’ Tiger smashed up his car four years ago and was revealed to be a really, really big philanderer, everyone has been waiting for the old Tiger to come back, the guy who dominated the sport like nobody else for more than a decade.

And while he’s won some tournaments and gotten back near the top, he still hasn’t won another major, which would truly announce that he’s back.

Sunday he blew another chance, as Phil Mickelson captured the British Open.
Personally, I hope Woods never wins another major. His behavior has always been distasteful on the course; his arrogance, his bullying of caddies and fans, and his foul language (he swore up a blue streak this weekend, according to what I read) make him an odious superstar.

So I get great joy out of rooting against Tiger from afar. He’s a perfect example of a kid coddled from Day 1 to be a superstar, and when things haven’t gone right, he behaves like a spoiled brat and expects the world to be different for him.

Again, I follow golf hardly at all, so I don’t know the ins and outs of why Tiger hasn’t won another major. But when I turned on the radio Sunday afternoon and heard he finished a distant 6th, I smiled.

Sometimes, people get what they deserve.

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**Next up, a hat tip to my friend Catherine for pointing me to this video, that’s part of a web series called “Conversations with My 2-year-old.”

It’s a series of short vignettes acted out by Matthew Clark and David Milchard, wherein they take the dialogue of actual conversations between a grown-up and a 2-year-old, and act them out together.

It’s funnier than I’m making it sound. Check out the one called “Pants” above… (I think all parents can appreciate this.)

**Finally, a brief rant about summer, public swimming pools, and people who really need to take five seconds and look in a mirror at home before going out.
My wife and I visited some friends and their kids on Sunday on Long Island, and we all went to this quasi-neighborhood pool (it was only open to people who lived in that development of about 10-12 blocks, I learned).

Twice during our four-hour stay my eyes nearly had to be picked up from the cement I was walking on. First there was a 50ish woman wearing a very small bathing suit bikini top that was hanging on for dear life the whole time it was on her; her breasts were literally spilling out of this thing (and believe me fellas, this was one wardrobe malfunction you definitely did NOT want to see.)

A short time later there was an overweight guy, maybe around 60, with a tiny bathing suit that had his gut hanging over it, and again, the fabric looked like it was about to burst at any moment.

Look, people of Earth, I’m never going to criticize anyone for what their body shape is, because we all have our problem areas. All I’m saying is, we don’t all need to see everything you’ve got.