With my head (and probably yours) head still spinning from that unbelievable American leadership capitulation to Comrade Putin Monday, I went looking for something to cheer me up.
Not sure I found it, but if you’re looking for something that will blow your mind even more than an American president openly siding with a Russian dictator over his own intelligence agencies, let me show you this Sacha Baron Cohen video from the debut episode of his new show on Showtime, “Who Is America?”
Now, I’m not a Borat fan, or much of a Baron Cohen fan. But this clip went viral Sunday night and into Monday for a very good reason: It’s hilarious, and terrifying.
In character, Baron Cohen poses as an Israeli anti-terror expert who comes to America seeking support for his “Kinder-guardians” program, which he claims has been so successful in Israel. The program trains toddlers, 3 and 4-year-olds, on how to use guns, so they can help prevent school shootings.
And yes, we get to see a few gun nuts salivate with glee about this fake program, and then Cohen goes to Washington and gets real, actual politicians to say unspeakably awful, evil things.
Please watch to the end, if you can. And be very, very afraid. The teddy bears, the horrible jokes, and the very real beliefs of gun rights zealots… it’s all here.
**Next up today, it’s been a long time since I’ve laughed at/mocked/appreciated a minor league baseball promotion in this space, so I was thrilled to come across this one from the Montgomery (Ala.) Biscuits, a AA affiliate of the Tampa Bay Rays.
On July 21 the Biscuits are holding “Millennial Night,” destined to honor the generation of current 20s and early 30-somethings. On this night participation ribbons will be given out just for attending the game, there will be napping stations and selfie-taking stations, and lots of avocados available to eat (lots of Millennials apparently like avocados, but so does my 3-year-old so who knows).
I actually thought this was kind of funny, and clever, but as always people on the Internets lost their ever-loving minds about it. Here are some of the wildly-oversensitive replies from those who don’t love what the Biscuits are serving up.
**And finally, here’s another story that made me laugh pretty hard. If you followed the World Cup at all (oh hey France, congrats on that. Your victory allows me to link to one of my favorite “Cheers” lines ever:, from Dr. Frasier Crane: )
Anyway, where was I? Oh yeah, the World Cup. So if you followed the World Cup maybe you heard about the kerfuffle involving the histrionic diving of Brazil’s star, Neymar. This guy made those Italian soccer players of years past look like straight-up sportsmen. Neymar moaned and whined and fell to the ground at the slightest bump.
Well, a pro team in the Mexican soccer league Liga MX decided to have some fun at halftime of their July 7 game. They decided to hold the “Neymar Challenge,” where a number of budding young soccer stars lined up on the halfway line during the break in play before taking part.
This saw the kids rolling around in feigned agony, much like the Paris Saint-Germain forward has been known to do. The Brazilian star had exited the 2018 World Cup the night before as his side were beaten 2-1 by Belgium in the quarter-finals. Mexican soccer fans took delight in the result, with their team having been eliminated from the tournament by Brazil on July 2.
This is awesome. The kid in the black shirt who’s far in front has clearly been practicing. Give that man a Brazil jersey, immediately!