After my New York Jets squeaked out an ugly but beautiful 19-16 win over the Dallas Cowboys Saturday night, I spent much of Sunday holiday shopping with my wife and son, figuring the slate of NFL games wasn’t going to be all that great.
Yeah, I was wrong about that one. Pretty thrilling day of action I missed most of, but caught up on later. Crazy comebacks, crazy behavior by a certain diva wide receiver, and the Denver Broncos really ticking me off.
First, we’ve gotta start with Odell Beckham Jr., who acted like a 5-year-old child throughout most of his team’s 38-35 loss to Carolina. The Giants fell behind 35-7, made a fantastic comeback, then lost on a last-second field goal as the Panthers went to 14-0.
But all anyone will be talking about today is Beckham’s awful behavior. He committed three personal foul penalties, including twice intentionally slamming his head into Panthers’ DB Josh Norman’s helmet, once running 15 yards down the field after the play ended and smacking into Norman.
Beckham was, incredibly, neither ejected from the game by the refs or benched by his formerly-tough, no-nonsense coach Tom Coughlin. What an embarrassment. I don’t care what Norman was doing on pass patterns, that’s ridiculous and disgraceful. Beckham should be suspended for the last two games of the year.
— Then there were the Broncos’ whose collapse after leading 27-10 at Pittsburgh hurt the Jets’ playoff chances a lot. Looks like Brock Osweiler might be falling down to Earth a bit, huh?
— The opposite of Odell Beckham, Jr: San Diego Chargers may be moving to L.A. next year, making their win over Miami Sunday possibly their last home game ever in San Diego. Two hours after the game, safety Eric Weddle was still at the stadium signing autographs. Then he went back on the field and lay down at the 50-yard line, leading to this awesome photograph (above).
— Think maybe Arizona vs. Carolina would be a hell of a lot of fun in the NFC title game.
— I think Kirk Cousins might actually turn into a decent NFL quarterback.
— And I think Johnny Manziel won’t.
**OK, so I’m sure not many of you watched the Miss Universe Pageant on FOX Sunday night, because c’mon, who among us really watches beauty contests anymore?
But I was on social media late Sunday night after this happened and thank goodness I was, because otherwise I might’ve missed the absolute worst awards show host screw-up of all time.
Steve Harvey, the comedian and host of the show, did everything right until the end, when announcing the winner. Which is, you know, the MOST IMPORTANT PART.
The final two contestants were Miss Colombia, Ariadna Gutierrez, and Miss Philippines, Pia Wurtzbach. Harvey opened the envelope and shouted the winner was Miss Colombia.
So of course, Gutierrez starts crying, gets the crown, the flowers, the whole thing, and starts blowing kisses to the crowd.
Only, a minute later, Harvey announces he made a mistake: Colombia was the first runner-up (which is what these award pageant announcers always say before naming the winner), and Miss Philippines is the actual winner.
Chaos, of course, ensued. Poor Gutierrez doesn’t speak English and has no idea what is happening. Wurtzbach is totally shocked, too, and then walks up to the podium. And then they have to explain to Gutierrez she actually lost, and take the crown off her.
So, so bad. But such amazing television, isn’t it?
**Finally today, this is totally a lost treasure of the 1980s, and I must give a big hat tip to my friend and former college newspaper boss Melissa T. for pointing me to this.
For those of you too young to remember what dating life was like pre-Internet, well, there used to be a thing called “video dating,” where you’d make a short biographical tape about yourself and submit it to a dating service, which would then show it to single men (or women) and they could judge for themselves if they wanted to pursue the person.
I have no idea who put this 4-minute montage of men’s tapes together, but it should be in a time capsule for future generations to study.
This entire thing is hilarious, my two favorites are Maurice (the 2nd guy in the video) and then the “refined Valley dude” at 1:10). Also I love the “goddess” guy at 1:45, he sounds really fun.
(Update: Apparently Ellen DeGeneres loved this tape, too, and found three of the guys on it and brought them to her show a few years ago.