Awards season is here, which means snark reaches a new level on the Internet, I watch and say “I never saw that movie” a lot, and fun is had by all.
Sunday’s Golden Globes were pretty meh, I thought, but I was glad to see so many surprise winners and new faces. Some random thoughts from my wife and I as we watched…
— Ricky Gervais as host was, as usual, not funny. Sorry, I just don’t get why people love him (I also don’t get why Lady Gaga is famous, but that’s another story). Alluding to Mel Gibson, “we know who Mel blames” was one of his two best lines of the night. The other one I loved, directed to the night’s winners, was “Remember, if you win, nobody cares as much as you do.”
But otherwise, I thought Gervais was boring and not needed. Why can’t Tina and Amy host every year?
— Things/People I was thrilled to see win: “Inside Out” for best animated movie. Jon Hamm for “Mad Men.” Aaron Sorkin for “Steve Jobs” (I really don’t know why that movie didn’t do better at the box office, it was terrific).
— And Sly Stallone winning for “Creed” was fantastic. Not as fantastic? Him forgetting to thank the movie’s star, Michael B. Jordan, and director Ryan Coogler. Look, Sly, I know you’re 93 years old, but come on man, you gotta thank the freaking star and the director, the ones who actually put you in a GOOD movie for the first time in 15 years!
— Meanwhile, “Spotlight” was robbed, getting totally shut out. Just wrong.
— Jamie Foxx yelling “the winner is, Straight Outta Compton” while presenting an award for Best Original Score was pretty hilarious, then Foxx making it better by mocking the huge Steve Harvey mistake calling out the wrong Miss Universe winner, was fabulous.
— My wife I aren’t the only ones who still can’t remember which one is Olivia Wilde and which one is Olivia Munn, right?
— Denzel Washington can’t be 61 years old. Tremendous montage of his movies, though not sure why “The Pelican Brief” got so much air time; that movie stunk and I love John Grisham.
— Best dressed of the night: Viola Davis (and Amy Adams) for the women, and Chris Evans and Brad Pitt for men. (Brie Larson’s dress (above) was also fabulous.) Worst dressed, by far and no one was even second: Maggie Gyllenhall. I mean, were bumblebees attacking her in this thing?
— Speaking of Mr. Jolie, does Brad Pitt ever, ever age? Dude still looks 25. He’s got some amazing, Benjamin Button secret formula to stay young or something.
— Not to pile on the nice folks in charge of programming at NBC, but USA Network won TWO Golden Globe awards Sunday, while NBC won zero. USA, the channel that shows pro wrestling and other crap most of the time, beat out the network of “The Cosby Show” and “Hill Street Blues” and “L.A. Law.”
**Next up today, we had two bizarre and compelling endings in the NFL playoffs this weekend, one game that was exciting for three quarters, and then the Chiefs-Texans game which happily I watched not one second of.
The Redskins-Packers game went pretty much as expected; Washington had a surprisingly good season, but the Packers are better. Aaron Rodgers remembered who he is and played great.
The two games I definitely want to talk about, though, were Bengals-Steelers and Vikings-Seahawks.
— One hundred years from now, when pro football is banned in America and high school classes are studying why, I think they’ll show them clips of this Pittsburgh-Cincinnati game. The brutality was ridiculous, so over the top. The vicious Ryan Shazier hit on Gio Bernard (above.) The Vontaze Burfict brutality on Antonio Brown. The Ben Roethlisberger injury. Several other headshots that I can’t even remember off the top of my head. Coaches cursing at players on the field. Just a horrendous display of vicious behavior; this game was out of control.
— And the ending… well, I’ve seen a lot of epic meltdowns in pro football, but that one by Cincy might take the cake. You make a fantastic comeback, take a one-point lead, get an interception with less than two minutes left to basically clinch the game… and still lose. Because your defense is filled with obnoxious, taunting, me-first, selfish, completely irresponsible players like Burfict, who acted like a moron all game, and Adam “Pacman” Jones. They both committed 15-yard unsportsmanlike penalties when the Steelers were only at midfield, allowing Pittsburgh to kick a chip-shot game winning field goal.
How Marvin Lewis can keep his job as head coach after his team was as undisciplined as this is beyond me. What an embarrassment the Bengals were.
— As for the Vikings, their defense was great, they got just enough offense, and then their kicker, Blair Walsh, missed a 27-yard field goal. Yeah it was below zero out, and yeah his holder didn’t spin the laces right, but come on, you gotta make that kick, Blair Walsh.
Meanwhile, the Seahawks did nothing for three quarters but somehow found a way to win. This is one hell of a run Seattle’s on, being good and getting all kinds of lucky breaks. I wouldn’t be shocked to see them go back to the Super Bowl.
But honestly, I’ve got a bad taste in my mouth about all of football right now after that Bengals-Steelers game.