A huge win for the J-E-T-S. And the rapping deli counter man entertains all

Every Jets victory is sweet for me.
But wins over the New England Patriots should count twice. Because they’re twice as sweet.
What a fantastic Jets victory Sunday. It looked bad early, especially when Randy Moss made that freakishly incredible catch over Darrelle Revis, who was injured on the play.
But Mark Sanchez played the best game of his young career, the defense stepped up and shut down that damn Wes Welker and Moss, and as a result, my boys got a much-needed win.
And as a result, my friend Patriots-loving friend Ali Taber now has to wear a Mark Sanchez jersey. And take a picture of herself wearing it. And post it on her blog all week. And oh yeah, it’s going to appear on this blog, too.
Because I know all you Jets fans out there want to see a Pats fan rockin’ the Green and White.
Ah, life is good on this Monday morning, isn’t it?

**I so enjoy the random slice-of-life moments that make day to day living so entertaining. I had a great one Sunday morning. I was in the supermarket waiting at the deli counter with about 6 other people, and this friendly deli man was greeting everyone with a smile, and having a great time fraternizing.
At one point he noticed a teenage girl that he knew, and from what I could gather, the deli man also worked at the kid’s school.
“Have you heard my lunch rap song?” he asked her. She shook her head no.
Then something wonderful happened: Friendly Deli Man began rapping. His song was titled “I’ve Got a Hunch About Lunch,” and there were like five verses.
I wish I could remember the lyrics, but I do remember that he rhymed “bologna” with something, and the song went on for about two minutes.
And there the six of us were, completely entranced and delighted by this friendly man who found a way to connect with kids through song.
And for a few minutes on a Sunday morning, I was reminded how wonderful it is when you love what you do, and you can make everyone’s day a little brighter with kind words.
When we finished, I put down my sliced turkey and applauded. As did a few others. And I guarantee you, when the other people standing in line with me got home from shopping, they told their loved ones about the rapping Deli Man.
And they smiled broadly while doing it.

A bet on today’s Jets-Patriots game that may leave me very unhappy

I’ve mentioned before in this space that one of my favorite blogs in the world is written by my wife’s friend Ali Taber. Ali’s blog is called Surviving Motherhood, and it’s a hilarious and poignant series of tales from life as a Mom to two little boys.

Ali, for all her good qualities, is unfortunately also a New England Patriots fan. I, of course, root for the hated rival New York Jets. So with the game today the first between the two this season, and with me needing a reason to get fired up after my boys’ desultory performance Monday night, I proposed a friendly wager this week:

If the Jets win, Ali has to go to a sporting goods store, put on a Mark Sanchez Jets jersey, take a picture of herself wearing it, and then post that photo prominently on her blog for the next week.
If the Patriots win, I’ve got to snap a picture of myself wearing a Tom Brady jersey, and run it here every day for a week.
After making this offer to Ali, she quickly accepted. As a Pats fan, she’s learned to become supremely confident over the years.
Me, I’m having second thoughts. As much as I expect Gang Green to play much better this week, I’m not sure the defense can slow Welker and Moss, and the Jets’ offense was atrocious last week. It has to be better, right?
I’ve got to think the Jets come out with fire, and urgency. Shonn Greene won’t fumble, LaDainian Tomlinson will catch some nice screen passes and turn them into big gains, and someone will remind the offensive coaches that Braylon Edwards is on the team, because they must’ve forgotten that last week.

Come on Jets, save me here. No way I want to be seen wearing a hideous Tom Brady jersey in public. That will ruin my rep (oh wait, I don’t have a rep).
Prediction: Jets 17, Pats 14.

Hope the jersey fits real nice, Ali!

Is Jeter a cheater? Yes. And a great cancer charity worth your time

So this Derek Jeter thing has got me annoyed.
If you’re not sure what I’m talking about, the New York Yankees legend in residence was involved in a little controversy this week. During a game with the Tampa Bay Rays, Jeter was at bat when a ball thrown toward him hit the knob of his bat.

Except Jeter reacted like he’d actually been hit by the ball. He danced around in pain, wincing, grabbing at his forearm; really, Meryl Streep and Gene Hackman would’ve been proud of his performance.
The home-plate umpire bought Jeter’s act, and he was awarded first base. After the game, practically everyone in baseball praised Jeter for being a “gamer,” and for taking advantage of a situation and using it to his advantage.
Couple thoughts on this:
— Derek Jeter has been universally praised for being the epitome of class and sportsmanship through out his career. This was bush league, I don’t care if everyone in baseball says it’s “part of the game.”
— Can you imagine the uproar if Alex Rodriguez had done this? He’d be roasted from coast to coast. I love Jeter as much as most Yankees fans, but he’s getting a free pass on this because he’s Derek Jeter.

Look, I know it’s not exactly a capital crime here. The Yankees lost the game, anyway, so it’s not like Jeter helped the Yankees “steal” a win. But here was a man admired and loved by millions for his class and sportsmanship. And in a situation where he knew he didn’t get hit by the ball, he pretended he did. He lied. He cheated.

And as a Derek Jeter fan, that disappoints me.

Of course, the greatest sportswriter working in America, Joe Posnanski, wrote a great take here, including video of the play:

**It sometimes seems like there are 4,432 charities and foundations out there whose mission is to raise money for cancer research. And don’t get me wrong: it’s fantastic that there are so many who are so interested in helping kill the deadly disease.

I just learned about a new one, though, that I think offers a great idea for people to help. It’s called Donate A, and at their website, www.DonateA.org, they explain their mission.
What the organization does is ask people to donate unused tickets to sporting events, concerts, museum shows, etc., to their organization, and DonateA then passes on those tickets to children who are stricken with cancer, and their families.
Not that I’m telling you anything you don’t know, but a kid stricken with cancer has so much misery in their life.  Pain and suffering are par for the course, so a chance for a kid to see a Yankees game, or a concert, could be exactly what they need to lift their spirits.
If this sounds a little like what the Make-A-Wish Foundation does, well, I thought that, too. But DonateA is a little more specific. They’re in three cities so far (Atlanta, New York and Chicago), so if you live in one of those places, please consider how much joy a kid with cancer would get from your donated tickets.

Schoolchildren as speed bumps. Seriously. And loving “Friday Night Lights” so far

This is one of those ideas that I’m not sure is either brilliant, or horribly misguided.

The city of Vancouver was unhappy that drivers seemed to be speeding through school zones, and ignoring the speed bumps as well.
So they’ve decided to unveil new “pavement paintings” on the city’s speed bumps near École Pauline Johnson Elementary School.

The 2-D image they’re using? A playing child.
That’s right, the image is designed to make it seem to the driver that as he’s driving closer and closer to the school zone, he’s about to ram into a child.

According to this story, the pavement painting appears to rise up as the driver gets closer to it, reaching full 3-D realism at around 100 feet. “Pavement Patty,” as the girl in the painting is known, is intended to “give drivers who travel at the street’s recommended 18 miles per hour (30 km per hour) enough time to stop” before running over the fake child, “acknowledging the spectacle before they continue to safely roll over her.”

Wow. I mean, wow. I guess this could convince people to drive slower. I think it also could mean a ton of drivers slam on their brakes and cause accidents because they think they’re about to hit an innocent child.
Curious to hear what you think; brilliant idea, or really misguided one?

**I mentioned last week that I was finally taking the plunge and starting to watch the show everyone has told me is so awesome, “Friday Night Lights,” from the beginning.

Six episodes in, I’m hooked. The music is fantastic, and it plays under just about every scene. The acting is excellent, particularly Connie Britton and Kyle Chandler. The football scenes? Yeah, there’s some Hollywood-ization there, but I’ve seen much worse.

So far I have to admit it’s as great as everyone has told me it is.  Really strong writing, and Minka Kelly is not bad to look at every episode.  Just sayin’.

On a related note, my best friend Clay has finally, after years of me nagging, begun to watch Season 1 of “The Wire.” I’ve told him he’s got to stick with it for at least 3-4 episodes, because it gets better every episode and you need to at least give it a chance.

After one episode, he called and reluctantly agreed it’s “interesting” and that he’ll keep watching.
It’s the best show in the history of television, I’ve told him. I hope he watches long enough to believe me.

And for you “Wire” fans out there, here’s a great clip:

Trapped miners in Chile have bigger problems. And Kentucky basketball: The gift that keeps on giving

You know, you’d think being trapped in a mine hundreds of feet below the ground would be your biggest problem if you were a miner in Chile last week.

But no, I’m sure a few of those men were more than happy to stay trapped once they found out what was waiting for them above ground.

Turns out that at Camp Hope, authorities trying to rescue the workers have had to deal with a whole slew of women rushing forward claiming that they are first in the hearts of the Chilean miners, so they should be the ones to get the government handouts.

I love this quote from the story : “At least five wives have been forced to come face to face with mistresses whose existence was kept from them by their husbands, who have been trapped more than 2,300ft below since a cave in on August 5.

One miner has four women fighting over him in an effort to claim compensation offered to the families of those facing between three to four months underground until a rescue shaft can reach them.

I love it.  Imagine the conversation between the rescue workers and the miners:

“Hey Jose, we’ve got a way to bring you up. You’ve got your wife and your two girlfriends here waiting for you when you get out.”

“Eh, that’s OK, I’ll stay down here. I think it’s safer.”

Yet another danger of adultery in our world.

**There are few bigger slimeballs in sports than University of Kentucky basketball coach John Calipari. This is a man who has taken two schools to the Final Four, and both times rules violations forced the accomplishment to be stricken from the record book. This is a man who lies, cheats, and takes every backdoor possible to find success.

Cal is everything I hate about big-time sports, which is why I’m always so amused when he or his program get caught cheating again.

Wednesday I read the latest in the saga of Eric Bledsoe, a former Kentucky player who’s being investigated for some, um, discrepancies in his high school transcript.

Seems Mr. Bledsoe took a night school class in high school at Parker High in Birmingham, Ala. (I’ve never heard of that before, but OK) and got a C, which, combined with his other poor grades, would’ve made Bledsoe ineligible to play college basketball last year.

But miraculously, the grade said “A” on his official transcript. Amazing how that happens.

But wait, it gets better. The class Bledsoe took was Algebra III. Guess what? He never took Algebra II.
So somehow my man Mr. Bledsoe aced Algebra III, without ever taking Algebra II.
My favorite part of this story? When the principal of the school, Joseph Martin, was asked how Bledsoe could’ve taken Algebra III before Algebra II, he replied like this:
“I’m going to my grave with that.”

Oh, Kentucky basketball. Even in the offseason, you’re the gift that keeps on giving. What a disgrace. An out and out disgrace that Calipari and the players he recruits cheat so blatantly, and then they go out and win.
Say what you want about my man Mike Krzyzewski, but no one has ever, ever questioned his integrity and accused him of cheating or fudging grades to get players into Duke.

A liberal learns to love the Tea Party. A question for fellow dog-owners. And “Parenthood” is back. Yay!

Note to readers: My first-ever book giveaway contest is still ongoing. I’ve gotten some good responses so far, but I’d love more. Once again, here’s the deal: Send me your best summer-camp horror story, of an experience you’ve had, and I’ll mail you a free copy of the new book “P.S. I Hate it Here: Kids Letters’ from camp.”

If you don’t want to post your story in the comments section of the blog, I completely understand (names might have to be changed to protect the innocent, and all that). You can stay (mostly) anonymous and email me your tale of woe to sweeterlew@yahoo.com. Thanks.

So it was another big night for the Grand Old Tea Party Tuesday. In my former state of Delaware, Christine O’Donnell bested state legend Mike Castle in the Republican primary.

And once again, I find myself loving the Tea Party again, despite being categorically against everything they stand for. This group of wingnuts is the best thing that could ever happen to Democrats, because by sending wingnuts to the general election race, they’re ensuring that the moderates will vote for the Dems.

Thereby keeping the Senate and the House in Democratic hands.
So thank you, Sarah Palin! Muchas gracias, Glenn Beck!
Watching the GOP tear itself down is so much fun to see.

**OK, I’ve got a question for all you male dog-owners out there: Do you have this problem?
Bernie, our dachsund, has perfected the art of walking across and up my body while I’m on the couch, and at least once a day, stepping his paw right onto my testicles. Which hurts. A lot.
What is the deal with this behavior? I mean, I know he’s not doing it on purpose (maybe he is, though: Maybe he’s thinking, “I’m the real man of the house, once I remove this guy’s balls like mine were removed.” He could be a devious little puppy.)

I think the solution is to wear a cup around my house at all times.

**I guess maybe my brain isn’t wired yet for fall TV, but I had totally forgotten that “Parenthood,” one of my favorite shows, was back Tuesday night. Discovered it at 10:15 p.m. when I looked at the DVR and saw that it was taping.

Very glad it’s back. Strong first episode, I thought, though I continue to think they wildly overplay Max’s Asperger’s Syndrome. Not that it’s not a serious thing, but it seems they go over the top with the portrayal.

Man, Craig T. Nelson is such a great actor. And the scene with Joel and Julia explaining “fertilizer” to a 6-year-old? Brilliant.

Riffing on Rafa Nadal, the disgusting paparazzi, and my woeful Jets’ debut

It’s very rare that as a sports fan, you love your favorite player/team and you love their big rival.
How many Lakers fans love the Celtics? Did fans of Jack Nicklaus also adore Arnold Palmer? Did anyone root for both Muhammad Ali and Joe Frazier?

But even though I’m as big a Roger Federer fan as you’ll find, I can’t help but love Rafael Nadal.

The Spanish lefty won another Grand Slam title Monday, beating Novak Djokovic in a rain-delayed final in four sets. It was a terrific match, and I found myself cheering for Rafa the whole way.

Why? Because he’s such a good kid. Polite, well-mannered, intelligent, and always gracious. He made a point of talking about 9/11 last Saturday, because he knew he was in N.Y. He goes out of his way to praise Federer. He plays his rear off on every point, and plays incredibly passionately.

Nadal was the subject of the famous back-page Vanity Fair Proust questionnaire this month. Just listen to some of his answers:

Q: What living person do you most admire?
Nadal: Just normal people from my hometown, from my country
Q: Which talent would you most like to have?
Nadal: Roger Federer’s ability to play tennis easily.
Q: If you could choose what to come back in (in the next life), what would it be?
Nadal: I would be me again. I am having a lot of fun, really
Q: What is your motto?
Nadal: To improve, be a better person and player, and to try my best.”

He’s really a great kid, and a credit to his sport. We’re so lucky to have both he and Federer on top right now, and don’t look now, but Nadal is starting to get into the debate of “Greatest of All Time” himself.

***Sometimes a four-minute video stands for itself. This is the nature of celebrity, 2010. I’m no fan of Kate Moss, but how can you not empathize with her after watching this disgusting piece of tape?

**The less I say about Monday night’s Jets game, the better. I waited nine months for another meaningful game, and this is what they produce? Nine stupid points in a 10-9 loss to the Ravens?

Everyone overreacts after Week 1. I’m not going to wildly overreact. Still …

— Mark Sanchez looked awful. He didn’t have a lot of time in the pocket, but when he did he did nothing.
— The Jets’ defense made so many stupid mistakes I couldn’t count them all. Penalty after penalty, and they couldn’t get off the field on third down at all.
— If Kris Jenkins is hurt again, they’re in deep trouble.
— What the hell is Braylon Edwards doing on the field goal block unit?
— Bad, bad loss. And the Patriots come in next Sunday. Jets could be looking at 0-2 very quickly.

My first-ever book giveaway contest! A “Mad Men” thought (not a spoiler). And Week 1 in the Niffle (NFL)

Big day here at Wide World of Stuff, and no, not because the rain-delayed U.S. Open final starts at 4 p.m.

It’s because I’m doing my first prize giveaway! I’ve never felt more like Wink Martindale in my life. You may remember a few weeks ago I wrote a post about a brilliant idea of a book, called “P.S. I Hate it Here: Kids Letters from Camp.”

It’s basically a compilation of the best letters the author, Diane Falanga, collected; horror stories from kids who desperately hated camp and wanted to be picked up immediately.

I read the book, and it’s brilliant and hilarious. And now, thanks to the publisher sending me a copy, it can be yours for free.

All you need to do to win it is tell me a story of your worst camp nightmare. The hives that lasted for weeks. The bully who tried to drown you in the lake. The camp counselor who made you their personal whipping boy (or girl).

Whoever sends me the funniest, smartest or most interesting tale will win this brand-new copy of the book.

Judging will be based on wit, originality, and being a Jets fan (kidding. Though I’m very nervous about tonight’s game.)

Good luck to all, and send me stories!

**It was a weird episode of “Mad Men,” last night, but don’t worry, I’m not going to give anything away here.
I did come to one discovery, though: Every single man on that show is an ass.

I hate all of them. Don’t give me “it was 1965” when excusing the behavior of these schmucks. You’re telling me there’s not ONE redeeming man at this advertising firm, or in the lives of these people, Matthew  Weiner?

Just saying.

**Spent the first glorious Sunday of the NFL season watching as many of the early 1 p.m. games as possible, then caught most of the Cowboys-Redskins game. Man am I glad NFL football is back.

A few scattered thoughts:
— Is there a bigger baby in the world than Albert Haynesworth of the Redskins? I mean, really, anywhere in the world? He pouted his way through training camp, bitched to the media about his role on the team, then threw a hissy fit on the sideline after one series Sunday. What an absolute schmuck.

— Huge win for the Texans. Good for them to finally beat Indy. Colts will still go 12-4, though.
— Miami did everything possible to blow that game to Buffalo. Everything. But the Bills refused to take it.
— Wes Welker, you are an amazing man. Nine months after shredding his knee, he comes back with 2 TDs for the Pats, who looked awfully good.

— Finally, a word about my old friend Eric Mangini. The former Jets coach burned every bridge and angered everyone possible last year while head coach of the Browns, yet amazingly, he kept his job.
Then Sunday, with his new boss, Mike Holmgren, watching, the Brownies go out and lose to the worst team in the NFL, the Tampa Bay Bucs. Ah, Mangini, how we (don’t) miss you in NY.

An incredible tennis match I hope you saw. And the NFL is back, at last

I know not all of you who read this blog are tennis fans. That saddens me (kidding), but I know it’s true.

But I have to spend a few minutes this morning talking about Roger Federer and Novak Djokovic’s U.S. Open men’s semifinal Saturday. Unbelievably dramatic, incredibly high-quality of play, and 23,000 screaming fans made it an unforgettable match.

As a huge Federer fan, I’m still a little saddened this morning. It really felt like the end of an era when he lost to a younger, more explosive player. I don’t know why this loss feels different; Fed has lost before the finals in three straight Slams. But this was the U.S. Open, where Roger has been the king for so long.

And dammit, we still don’t get our Federer-Nadal dream U.S. Open final. Maybe it’ll never happen.

I wrote way more about the match at my tennis blog here

**Football’s here. I know people in the South where I live think football really started last week, when the college season kicked off.
But for me, today at 1 p.m. is an absolute beginning, and a joy. The NFL is finally back, and I’m excited.

Excited to see whether the Saints can repeat. Excited to see if my beloved Jets can reach the Super Bowl (they won’t. It’s not going to happen in your lifetime, Lewis! Keep telling me that if things go well this season, dear readers.)

Excited to see if I can have a great fantasy team this year (I’m strong at wide receiver and quarterback, but my running backs are a little weak. Jahvid Best, I need a big rookie year out of you, young man).

Man I wish the Jets played today, but alas, gotta wait until Monday night. Headed over to my favorite sports bar, Houligan’s, in a couple hours, and it’ll be like a family reunion: I’ll see people I haven’t seen since the end of last season, and we’ll pick up right where we left off.

(A funny aside: Every once in a while, as happened yesterday, my wife and I will be out in a store and someone will recognize me as the Jets fan at the bar, and we’ll start talking about football for a few minutes. This amazes her.)

Best of luck to whoever your favorite NFL team is this season. Unless you’re like my friend Ali Taber who roots for the Patriots; then I say bad luck and boils to all on her favorite team.

Or if you’re my friend Buddy Shacklette, who roots for the Dolphins. He gets bad luck and double boils.

But the rest of you? Best of luck.

And now, Jets coach Rex Ryan with his immortal closing line, that I’ll remember forever: (You can skip to the last 15 seconds if you only want the best part. And the language is Not Safe for Work.)

Nine years. And soaking up a few more of my 15 minutes

**Today, of course, is the ninth anniversary of 9/11, the biggest tragedy to hit America in my lifetime. I know you’re going to get bombarded with remembrances of the day today, and I don’t have anything particularly noteworthy to add.

Two things to share: One, every year on 9/11 I watch this incredibly moving short video done by a man named Jason Powers, a few months after the tragedy.
And second, I watch an amazing HBO documentary every year on 9/11, called Telling Nicholas. It’s about a little boy whose mother died in the Towers, and one family’s struggle to tell him the truth. If you ever get a chance to watch it, I highly recommend it.

**I used to dream about being famous. Doesn’t everybody have that dream? I thought I’d be a big-time writer traveling the world, making speeches, selling millions of books, and basically living the life of a celebrity.

Um, yeah, still waiting for that.
I’ve realized now that fame is unlikely, so I enjoy the brief glimpses of it I get. I got an email Friday morning from a producer at HLN Prime News, the nightly news show on the Headline News Network (a division of CNN).

Would I be interested in coming on the air at 6:30 to discuss the big story I’ve been following, the arrest of a popular high school football coach on prostitution solicitation charges?
Of course, I said. I love media attention.
As it turned out, I had to do a phone interview, and they told me the segment would be 10 minutes, when it was only 5, and I had to share time with another guest.
But it was still a lot of fun. I used to get so nervous before doing TV or radio, but I’ve been lucky enough to do a lot of it in my career.
I’ve learned how to slow down and not rush through my points. I’ve learned to not step on the interviewer when he/she is talking (I still have trouble with that one.)

Doing stuff like this, even four minutes on a Friday night, reminds me I’m lucky to do what I do. People want to hear me talk about a story or a project I’m working on, and that’s a rewarding feeling.