Speed dating for writers. And a mascot whose wiener caused a lawsuit

While I anxiously await the incredible Olympic hockey semifinals today, and mourn the death of Boner Stabone, two stories today that made me smile and laugh.

First, and I think this is absolutely brilliant, the Society of Professional Journalists’ Minnesota chapter has created something called

“Freelance Love.” For $30, freelance writers get to come to Bloomington’s Park Plaza Hotel one night and they’re guaranteed five minutes each with a different editor from one of Minnesota’s newspapers, magazines or websites.

I love it. Speed dating for journalists! Just like in speed dating, you know within five minutes if you want this writer to work for you, and the writer gets five minutes to sell themselves, like an actor at an audition.

And hey, just like in speed dating, look at all these chances for rejection! Bound to be good for building character.

In these economic times, writers  need all the help we can get. I hope this idea catches on.

**And now, a sad story about wiener-throwing gone bad.

Meet Sluggerrr, the Kansas City Royals’ lion mascot. As the mascot for the woeful Royals, Sluggerrr’s job is harder than most. You know how hard it is to make people laugh when the home team is down 11-3 to Boston? It’s hard, lemme tell ya.

Anyway, poor Sluggerrr is now the subject of a nasty lawsuit. Seems that last Sept. 8, the lovable furry guy was shooting hot dogs out of his air gun (of course he was), when he put the gun down and started chucking the Oscar Mayers into the crowd.

Well, like most of the throws from Royals pitchers in the last decade, Sluggerrs toss went awry. It struck fan John Coomer in the eye, and in the suit Coomer alleges he suffered a detached retina, and other maladies.

There are so many great parts of this story, most of which my man Joe Posnanski covers in this blog post (scroll about halfway down).

But this has to be my absolute favorite part. The Royals are getting sued, in part, because the team “failed to adequately train its agents … in the proper method in which to throw hot dogs into the stands at Kauffman Stadium.”

Wouldn’t it be awesome if that was part of the mascot training?

“OK Sluggerrr, you want to bend your elbow, then twist your knees, and throw that sucker at a 45-degree angle over your head!” Good, try it again. And again. Next, at 2 p.m. we have “patting kids on the head class, followed at 4 p.m. by “Making fun of Umpires: the Do’s and Don’ts.” Now go put your webbed feet up for a few minutes and relax.

Two stories of hugs. And USA Hockey rolls, while the Russkies tumble

I love hugs.

Huge fan. I hug everyone. I’m usually the last person to let go in a hug, because I usually feel like it’s almost rude if you let go first, like, “OK, we’re done, I’m ready to move on now.”

Anyway, because the world can always use more hugs, two stories today that might make you want to reach out and embrace someone.

First, one of my new heroes. Jeff Ondash is a 51-year-old man from Ohio, and two weeks ago he broke the world record for most hugs given in a 24-hour period (one of those records I’m sure most people lie awake at night, dreaming of breaking). Ondash, whose nickname is Teddy McHuggin (I wish I were making that up), squeezed 7,777 people in one day.

I love his quote: “When you hug somebody, they all walk away from each other smiling,” Ondash said. “They say an apple a day keeps the doctor away; a hug a day — it’s just fun.”

**And then there’s this. Hug E Grams. Yes, this is real. A one-minute infomercial truly doesn’t do this justice. I can’t believe this really, really exists. But God bless America, it does.

**Another great day for Olympic hockey. Team USA continues to amaze, with yet another win. This one was extremely tough, with Switzerland goalie Jonas Hiller playing awesome for two periods. And when the U.S. goal in the final seconds of the second period was disallowed (I mean, the puck was on the goal line when time expired; another tenth of a second left in the period and it would’ve been a goal!), I was nervous. I’m not going to lie to you.

But Zach Parise came through, and Team USA is in the freaking semifinals. Amazing story. Two weeks ago, I would’ve said no way they’re in the semis. And yet … It’s a great story.

The game I was really looking forward to was the ridiculously-early-in-the-tournament Russia-Canada quarterfinal. Everyone figured this would be the gold medal game. So much incredible talent in this one. Crosby. Ovechkin. Malkin. Nash.

And yet, it turned out to be a blowout. Russia’s defense, and goalie Evgeni Nabakov, was beyond awful. Canada, powered by a great home crowd, destroyed Alex Ovechkin and Co., 7-3.

Now, best thing we can hope for is a U.S.-Canada gold medal game on Sunday. Works for me.